Merchandise

I just love political election year merchandise. The only problem is, after November I'm not really sure it's necessary to wear a Hot Mama for Obama t-shirt. I love this tote though!

Estoy Enferma

Today was the first day of class. dun dun dun. Knowing this, yesterday, my body decided to get sick. I think I have a head cold and my glands are swollen. I lose focus very easily which is super awesome when you're sitting through a 2 hour Physics class and science is your least favorite subject ever. My favorite part though is how the teacher made us play 2 truths & 1 lie. Yeah, like we haven't been playing that since we were in elementary school. Way to think up an original ice breaker. Anyway, the best part was when we went around the room introducing ourselves and telling what our one lie was and the girl behind me said, "my lie is that I'm voting for Obama." You could've heard a pin drop and blood curdle. It was quite obvious that everyone was thinking one huge collective thought of, "She's really going to vote for McCain? Is she stupid? How was she even let into college? Let's kill her!" Doesn't she know that she's at the biggest liberal hippie school there is? I mean, our school is the only 100% green public campus in the nation. I've got to say she did have some balls for admitting that though...but she's still stupid.

Favre

So, Brett Favre completely redeemed himself after that embarrassing loss to the Chargers. He threw for 6 touchdowns leading the Jets to a 56-35 win over the Arizona Cardinals. For anyone who doubts the greatness of the legend that is Favre, here are some stats:

Favre (6-2/222/Southern Miss/Kiln, MS), a veteran of 17 NFL seasons, the last 16 in Green Bay, is the league’s all-time leader in touchdowns passes (442), completions (5,377), attempts (8,758), yards (61,655) and victories as a quarterback (160). Since Sept. 20, 1992, he has started 253 consecutive regular season contests (275 including postseason), leading the Packers to a record of 160-93 (.632). During his 16 seasons in Green Bay, Favre has quarterbacked the Packers to 11 postseason appearances, seven division titles, four NFC Championship games and two Super Bowls, including a victory in Super Bowl XXXI. A three-time Associated Press Most Valuable Player (1995, 1996, 1997), he threw for 4,155 yards and 28 touchdowns in 2007, completing a career-high 66.5 percent of his passes. The 2007 campaign marked his fifth season with more than 4,000 passing yards as the Packers finished second in the NFL in total offense. The former Southern Miss signal-caller has logged 40 fourth-quarter comebacks, eight seasons with 30 or more touchdowns and 55 300-yard passing games. Favre was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons in the second round of the 1991 NFL Draft (33rd overall) and acquired by the Packers on Feb. 10, 1992 for the 17th overall pick in the 1992 NFL Draft. The Falcons traded that pick to Dallas, who selected CB Kevin Smith (Texas A&M).

The Joys of Craigslist.

At work we invariably get bored and take to looking at the personal ads on craigslist. We read people's misspelled pleas for love and proceed to make fun of them. Generally, it's very mean spirited and yet hilarious. Today I found one of the funniest personal ads ever. This guy is hilarious and I absolutely love it! It is as follows:

I'm tired of attracting nice, attractive, healthy, sane, intelligent women who seek the same in a man. They're just too practical and boring on dates while having great food and hilarious conversations. So, I've changed my menu of desires to wanting just a messed-up, selfish, baggage-dragging piece of trash who thinks the world owes her everything. Please just be your own sloppy self with at least 3 or more of the following qualities:

1: Bratty, dirty, foul-mouthed kids who look forward to Christmas dinner at Mc Donalds.
2: One or more alcoholic ex-hubbies who gave you herpes just after the divorce was final.
3: Experience in creating complicated lies and/or manipulating people to support your cigarette and drug habits.
4: An undependable, non-classic vehicle at least 15 years old needing constant repairs while leaving you stranded every time you drive it.
5: An appearance of being at least 20 years older than you are.
6: Willingness to always compare me to your favorite TV & movie men while letting me know over and over of how I'll never amount to anything without you.
7: One or more pets who freely roam your home pissing and pooping anywhere they please (Bonus points for pet hair equally distributed everywhere including your bed).
8: Disorganized in everything you do while having a wad of expired Papa John's coupons mixed with unpaid parking citations hanging out of your purse.
9: Shops Wal-Mart in crusty pajamas and stained slippers while pretending to be interested in the most expensive cuts in the meat department.
10: Valid Oregon Trail Card (if you don't know what this is, please move on).
11: Constantly juggling self-induced insecurities while surrounded by never-ending clouds of personal and neighborhood drama.
12: Spuratic bragging sessions about false achievements, sometimes triggering you to be arrogant and snobby.

No "pic for pic" here, as I no longer care about appearance, nor should you (if you have a digital camera or scanner, then you're in the class of which I'm no longer seeking).

Work Makes Me Sad

So as all of you know I work 7 days a week. The shifts vary. On Monday night I had to come in and cover for a colleague who no-called no-showed. Therefore, I missed the Jets play the Chargers on Monday Night Football. I was not pleased. Favre threw 2 interceptions for touchdowns. Furious. Then, tonight I had to miss Obama and McBush debate. All I could do was read about it on cnn. Not a happy girl. I'm going to have to watch it online on a public computer somewhere since my private computer is a pile of crap. Anyway, I hate McCain. Over and out.

Shipping Container Homes

I just read an article about 4 guys who are designing homes that would be affordable for low income families to purchase in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. It's a really neat idea and they turned out really cute. The full article is here. It makes me a little nostalgic for my trailer.

Grey's Anatomy

I am beyond excited for the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy!! CANNOT WAIT! For all of you Grey's lovers out there the 2 hour - yes 2 whole wonderful hours - season premiere is TOMORROW - Thursday September 25th at 9/8c.

Presidential Debates

Yay! I can't wait for the debates to begin. Here's the schedule for any others interested.

Each debate starts at 9PM Eastern time!

September 26, 2008: Presidential debate with foreign policy focus, University of Mississippi, Oxford, MS

October 2, 2008: Vice Presidential debate, Washington University, St. Louis, MO

October 7, 2008: Presidential debate in a town hall format, Belmont University, Nashville, TN

October 15, 2008: Presidential debate with domestic policy focus, Hofstra University, Hempstead, NY

Each debate will begin at 9pm eastern, 6pm pacific time and last for 90 minutes. They will be aired on every major broadcast network such as CBS, NBC, ABC, and FOX. They will also be aired on cable outlets such as Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, and many others.

Note: The topics of the 1st and 3rd presidential debates were switched, the Sept. 26th debate will be foreign policy with the Oct. 15th debate being domestic policy. This is the latest information.

Dumbfounded

So, everyday I read the news on cnn's website. Today I read this article about how when Sarah Palin was governor of Wasilla, Alaska her town charged rape victims for rape kits. What the hell? I just about flipped out when I read that. These women have already been victimized and brutalized and then you're going to go ahead and charge them up to $1,000 for their rape kit. Seriously? What the hell? How can you justify that? It's already hard enough to prosecute and convict rapists and many rape victims are too scared to come forward and Wasilla was making their situation that much worse.

See article here.

Henry, the forensic nurse, said charging victims "retraumatizes them."

"Asking them to pay for something law enforcement needs in order to investigate their case, it's almost like blaming them for getting sexually assaulted," she said.

I would swear Sarah Palin is the Anti-Christ.

Coos Bay International Speedway

Apparently, those not familiar with the greatness of Coos Bay doubt the existence of the Coos Bay International Speedway. I am here to attest to its redneck amazingness. When I was really little my dear mother would serve beer there. After the races were over my little brother and I would get paid $2.00 per trash bag to pick up beer cups. Who the hell lets 7 year olds pick up beer cups? That'd be my mama.

Computer Woes

So my p.o.s. computer is not working. It won't charge and if the power cord does miraculously work I cannot move or else the damn thing will shut off. It's really infuriating to have to sit perfectly still and move only my hands to type. If I get a leg or ass cramp I cannot attend to it or I risk losing all of my hard work. So to remedy the situation I'm going to buy a MacBook. The, "hi, I'm a mac and I'm a p.c." commercials were very persuasive. Actually, Mom's friend Rob tells me that Macs are pretty much amazing. Whatever - as long as I can get to my music and my photos I'll be good. Now, I have $600 so far towards this $1100 computer. My half-birthday is November 20th and I am expecting gifts -- in the form of cash.

Presidential Education

I swiped this from some news site talking about how Sen. Chuck Hagel (R) Nebraska said, "I think it's a stretch to, in any way, to say that she's got the experience to be president of the United States" (referring to Palin). You know it's bad when your own team doesn't support you.

Let's look at the educational background of your two options:

Obama:
Occidental College - Two years.
Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in international relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

& Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899

& Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism

Hell, even I've managed to stay at one school for more than 3 semesters and we all know how easily I get bored.

The Gambler

While on the subject of fabulous hair I may as well bring up the legendary Kenny Rogers. Take a nice long look at this photo and then the next time you're at a waffle house, beer garden or Sturgis look around and you will find many a man who resembles this musical icon. For some hilarious Kenny Rogers fun check out http://www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com/

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealins done.

Mullet Love

As everyone knows, I LOVE the mullet. I do not want to date the mullet but merely observe it at its finest. This can be done at the Wal*Mart, the Coos Bay International Speedway (yes, I did say International) or down at the local McDonalds. For neophyte mullet hunters may I suggest hitting up your local Wal*Mart Super Center - open 24 hrs. for some mullet goodness.

I would also suggest checking out Mullets Galore at http://www.mulletsgalore.com/ to better understand the many variations of the mullet. There is also a language that accompanies the mullet. Here is an example:

mulletude (mu' li' tewd) the attitude that comes with the adornment of the mullet, behaviors can include the following: beating one's spouse, scowling or sneering at those who don't have mullets, engaging in fights on a regular basis (preferably with those who are not part of the mullet brotherhood), stealing, pedophilia, listening to butt-rock, attending monster truck rallies, driving a Chevrolet Camaro (model years 1970-1993) or mini-truck, snorting crank, working in construction, misogyny, getting angry at the drop of a hat, date rape, speaking in an inappropriately loud voice...

The Hag

While I'm on the subject of country music let me just say that I love Merle Haggard, known to country fans everywhere as The Hag. I am one of those obnoxious people who has a song for my ringtone. Every time someone calls me those around me are forced to "enjoy" my musical taste whether they want to or not. Lucky for everyone that my ringtone happens to be "Mama Tried" by The Hag.

"And I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole
No one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading, I denied
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried"

Chesney

Kenny Chesney's new album Lucky Old Sun comes out OCTOBER 14th. That will be the deluxe edition with 4 live bonus tracks. If you want to be lame you can wait until October 21st for the regular version.

"Lucky Old Sun is a really personal record," Chesney said. "It comes from some pretty deep places, and it looks at my life, how I've evolved and the way the ocean can take you places beyond location. There are a bunch of fun songs on the record, for sure, but nothing quite as immediate as these live tracks. So, in some ways, it's the very best of what we do in the studio and what we do in people's hometowns."

You can bet I'll be down at the Wal-Mart to pick this one up at midnight. I know I can pre-order on iTunes but that isn't quite as much fun - and I can't rock out on the drive home from Wal-Mart... after stopping at the Petro for some onion rings of course!


Taylor Swift's sophomore album Fearless is set to be released NOVEMBER 11th. Her latest single "Love Story" has already hit the airwaves and her song "Change" was featured during the Olympics.

Trailer Love

My first year of college I lived in a trailer. Not a mobile home but the kind of trailer that actually has a shot at regular mobility. You know, the kind with wheels and tires. The idea that I could've hooked my life up to the back of a truck and taken off always intrigued me. Not having a truck kind of dampened my dreams of getting the wheels rolling...and living in a trailer is not exactly what I would call fun. Maybe I'll take my car and my tent on some adventures. Montana anyone?

Gypsy Goods

So my all time favorite place to shop is http://www.gypsyville.com/ It has amazing jewelry and super cute belt buckles and clothes. However, I wish I was rich. Just for fun I put everything I want into the shopping cart to see how much it would cost me....
GRAND TOTAL: $3,256.74

Anyone want to go in on some Powerball tickets with me?

Palin Schmalin

Can I just say that I am beyond irritated by all of this bullsh*t about Sarah Palin. I'm sorry but just because I am a woman does not mean I will vote for a candidate just because she has a va-jay-jay. Does policy mean anything? She is not ready to lead and she has no idea what she's talking about. When McCain croaks (because we all know he will) we'll be left with a crazy lady with no experience as President. While I'm on the subject. How irresponsible of McCain to choose a running mate who is ill equipped to run the country in an emergency. Good job on that decision. Obviously he's making such great decisions now we might as well elect him as President. He's so adept at decision making he'll be a natural.

SPAM (the questionable meat product) is younger than McCain, along with fiberglass, 91% of the U.S. population, and my all time favorite food Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

Check it out for yourself at:

http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/

White People

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

I stumbled upon this website one day while being bored out of my mind at work. Check out the complete list tab near the top of the page. Some of my favorites are #107 Self Aware Hip Hop References and #105 Unpaid Internships.

My Genius Sister

So my sister, whom I love dearly, is a genius. She recently created a blog http://apt345.blogspot.com but she has the settings to where you have to log in to reply to her posts. IRRITATING. So I took care of it by creating my own blog. It will be dedicated to all that I love; family, friends, card making, mullets and of course, ranting.