The Joys of Craigslist.

At work we invariably get bored and take to looking at the personal ads on craigslist. We read people's misspelled pleas for love and proceed to make fun of them. Generally, it's very mean spirited and yet hilarious. Today I found one of the funniest personal ads ever. This guy is hilarious and I absolutely love it! It is as follows:

I'm tired of attracting nice, attractive, healthy, sane, intelligent women who seek the same in a man. They're just too practical and boring on dates while having great food and hilarious conversations. So, I've changed my menu of desires to wanting just a messed-up, selfish, baggage-dragging piece of trash who thinks the world owes her everything. Please just be your own sloppy self with at least 3 or more of the following qualities:

1: Bratty, dirty, foul-mouthed kids who look forward to Christmas dinner at Mc Donalds.
2: One or more alcoholic ex-hubbies who gave you herpes just after the divorce was final.
3: Experience in creating complicated lies and/or manipulating people to support your cigarette and drug habits.
4: An undependable, non-classic vehicle at least 15 years old needing constant repairs while leaving you stranded every time you drive it.
5: An appearance of being at least 20 years older than you are.
6: Willingness to always compare me to your favorite TV & movie men while letting me know over and over of how I'll never amount to anything without you.
7: One or more pets who freely roam your home pissing and pooping anywhere they please (Bonus points for pet hair equally distributed everywhere including your bed).
8: Disorganized in everything you do while having a wad of expired Papa John's coupons mixed with unpaid parking citations hanging out of your purse.
9: Shops Wal-Mart in crusty pajamas and stained slippers while pretending to be interested in the most expensive cuts in the meat department.
10: Valid Oregon Trail Card (if you don't know what this is, please move on).
11: Constantly juggling self-induced insecurities while surrounded by never-ending clouds of personal and neighborhood drama.
12: Spuratic bragging sessions about false achievements, sometimes triggering you to be arrogant and snobby.

No "pic for pic" here, as I no longer care about appearance, nor should you (if you have a digital camera or scanner, then you're in the class of which I'm no longer seeking).