A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

This book was suggested to me by a friend and I just finished it today. It's the memoir of the author, Dave Eggers, and is the story of how his parents both died of cancer and he took care of his younger brother. He wants his brother to be well adjusted and therefore meticulously analyzes every single thing he and his brother do and how it may affect his brother in the long run. At first I really fell into it and couldn't put it down but three quarters of the way in I put it down and didn't pick it back up for quite some time. The book is insane, annoying, interesting and quite wonderful all at once. The author has these fake conversations with his friends and brother which are actually internal conversations where he is more honest and self critical than he is anywhere else in the book, otherwise he's obnoxious and infuriating. I found that skipping over some of his long passages that made me want to bash my head into a wall was very beneficial to my enjoyment of reading this. After finishing the book I felt exhausted but also like I had just read something brilliant. I would definitely recommend it but not if you're looking for a book of fairies and rainbows or an easy read.  

Also, the fact that "staggering" means both amazing and stumbling really works for this book.  

Straight or Curly?

How about short? I decided instead of spending 6 hours and $200+ I would just chop it all off and donate it to Locks of Love which turns it into wigs for children with cancer. So I said adios to 20 inches of hair and got this super cute hairdo. Do you have 10 inches of extra hair you don't want? Donate it!

Victory!

It sure as hell waits on someone's finger. Crackhead bitch has been evicted. Too bad it was only partially to do with my incessant nagging and mostly had to do with her sticky fingers. Seriously, thanks for stealing my favorite diamond ring, glad I had that thing insured. I'm sure my dad is super stoked you stole his ring too, it's not like he didn't have it forever. I hope you got a lot of meth in exchange for all of those diamonds. I also hope you overdose. Cheers! 

Dress Code Bullshit.

So about a month ago my wonderful workplace let everyone know that they are changing the dress code to no cardigans. What the fuck is that? Cardigans comprise 90% of my wardrobe. I was super pissed that I was now going to have to go buy all new clothes because I was going to be spending my own money on shit I don't even like or want. So, I've decided that perhaps I should be super obnoxious and buy crazy hideous jackets like the ones pictured above. They're *technically* considered dress code. FU corporate. 

Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce.

My friend Sarah and I went to Portland last week for a little shopping trip. I drove up to Eugene where I met up with her and then we took her car to Portland. I grabbed my ipod but her car doesn't have an auxiliary input which I thought was weird because her car is a 2007, the same year as mine. Oh well, we just listened to her c.d.s instead which got me hooked on this Lady Gaga song. It cracks me up and makes me want to dance all at once. 

I'm a Terrible Person.

So one of the many joys in my life is when I am on facebook and run across the profile of somebody that I couldn't stand in high school to see that they are now really fat and ugly. It's probably bad karma to be so excited but I don't really care. It makes my day every single time! 

Axe Cop Again.

I'm still in love with this comic. Eef made this fake movie trailer for his comic and some people in Hollywood have contacted him about making an actual movie. Please view this video to help him out, it's really short and completely awesome. 

Comfy Comforter.

I got this reversible comforter at Macy's the other day. I have a down comforter that I love and several duvet covers that are really cute from IKEA but I haven't been to IKEA in years and it was time for something new. The only thing is that the pillowcases are too small for my pillows but I stuffed them in there anyway. Damn pillows had better bend to my will!

There was another one that was really cute as well and I was having trouble deciding between the two so I picture messaged them to Jennie and she knew just which one I needed. I'm glad I went with her advice. The other comforter had a flowery vine design and was a beige/light blue color combination which was calming but not exactly my personality. It was very pretty but too boring for me. Thanks for your help Jennie Lynn!

Books Without Shelves.

I realized today while glancing around my room that perhaps it's time to lug my bookcase up the stairs. I have stacks of books everywhere. On the couch, next to the couch, under the couch. On the bed, next to the bed, under the bed. They've taken over my room and multiplied. 
Now that I think about it I should probably just buy a new bookcase. I'm pretty sure the one downstairs is already full to overflowing.
Anybody want to borrow a book? Brooke? I'll mail them to you but you must promise to return them eventually. 

Valentines Schmalentines.

Remember in elementary school when we used to exchange Disney movie valentines with suckers attached and you would spend hours deciding who would receive which design because some were obviously so much cooler than others? Well screw that, I got people big chunks of dead animal this year. I'm pretty sure this is the way to most men's hearts, exactly this. 

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Chinese New Year starts in a little less than 3 hours and it's the year of the TIGER! Woot! It's my year people. We had Chinese New Year dinner last night at the crappy Asian place that some guy died at last week while waiting in line for the buffet. I'm currently celebrating by drinking a beer and writing a paper. I do it up right. Anyway, I did some googling and here's a little picture of the tiger for you:

People born in 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998 and 2010 are “tigers.” Tigers are active, self-assured, optimistic, passionate and independent. They also are considered rebellious, dynamic, unpredictable and quick-tempered, but considerate. The Tiger is a natural born leader and symbolizes power, passion and daring. 

What's with the, "but considerate" I find that really irritating because it implies that being rebellious, dynamic, unpredictable and quick-tempered are all bad qualities, which in my opinion, they aren't. 

Oh, it's also Valentines day tomorrow which is in no way as cool as Chinese New Year. 

Sleep.

I suck at falling asleep. I'm always too stimulated and my mind is racing (damn you, Reddit) and I will be up until 4 or 5 in the morning and then have to be at work at 9:30. It's terrible because then I have to take naps on my lunch breaks. Lunch breaks should be for lunching. Anyway, a friend suggested I try Melatonin. I researched it extensively through wikipedia so what I read was probably roughly 80% correct and I decided to try it. I used it last night for the first time and I started feeling tired about half an hour after taking it. I went to bed at 12:30 rather than 4:30 but instead of sleeping until a decent hour I woke up at 6 and couldn't fall back asleep. What the hell is that? Tonight is night #2, we'll see how it goes. 

I'm sick.

I'm sick. Yes, kind of in the head. Really though it's more in the face. I'm sick in the face. :(

clarification: this is not jammed up my nose, it's taped on. It's the kleenex version of a clown nose, obviously. 

Morons.

This is the note I left tonight for the idiot lady that lives at my house. So my dad and I lived all by ourselves, enjoying life and the barrier these walls provide against society. One day, one of his crackhead employees got into an argument with her roommates so my dad let her rent a room here since we have plenty of them. I was not thrilled with this idea because I don't like people and I especially dislike crackheads. She doesn't pay rent, she's supposed to keep the house clean or something. She's not supposed to use my bathroom but she does, as evidenced by the empty toilet paper roll she left me tonight and the fact that she uses my shampoo and adds water to the bottle, like I wouldn't fucking notice. While not paying rent she also decided that she's too much of a bitch to contribute to the purchase of any household items. So not only does she leave empty toilet paper rolls on the toilet paper dispenser, she also uses the toilet paper that I paid for, the laundry detergent that I paid for, the garbage bags that I paid for and my fucking $25 shampoo that, hey guess what, I paid for. First thing in the morning I'm launching a "crackhead bitch needs to be evicted asap" campaign. My poor father. 

Crafty McCrafterson.

Woot! All that crap is finally unpacked and in its rightful place. It's very similar to the setup I had at my apartment but now everything is within reach, no getting up to go get paper or stamps. That could be good or bad; hello fat ass! I love my craft area because it contains many of my favorite things, my wooden tulip, my Salvation Army owls, my picture board that I made, a place to create things and apparently my kitteh. 

First Card I've Made in Months...

I finally finished unpacking and organizing all of my crafting things today. In honor of that I made a card (plus it's my friend's birthday next week). Anyway, it's just a "paper and ribbon" card as my sister would call it; nothing crazy, fast and easy. But hey, it works. There are some imperfections, one of which really annoys the crap out of me but there wasn't any way to fix it so it had to stay. Oh well, that's what makes it handmade awesomeness. Oh, and I love the cassette paper. 

Attn: Brooke

Vogue patterns were on sale at the fabric store the other day and even though I don't sew, I bought some because I have a sister who sews. Now, the one I want first is the green one, it doesn't have to be green though, details can be worked out. Thanks, love you!