Jane Austen's Fight Club.

I got an email from Buzzy with this link in it and I loved it. I can totally see the girls of Longbourn getting crazy. 

CubistLiterature.

I've been meaning to talk about this tshirt and I keep forgetting. I bought this shirt from etsy seller CubistLiterature and I love it. It's called Sweet Teeth and is of great quality. He has all kinds of quirky and hilarious shirts in his shop, some of which I will be purchasing at a later date. Go check it out!

Star Wars Dance Off.

This is a dance off between different Star Wars characters but the best is if you skip to about the 8:25 mark. Epic! 

Oregon.

Speaking of Oregon's beauty...

On my way up to Portland to catch my flight to Utah I snapped some pictures of the scenery out my window. No, I'm not responsible and I did not pull over to the side of the road but I did slow down a little. 

Also, for some reason, this picture makes me really want to watch Jurassic Park. 

Harley Rides.

My dad and I went on a Harley ride the other day to a little bar called Osprey Point in Lakeside. It's kind of an old person bar but the bartender is super sweet and they have yummy pizza and Shock Top! I really like Shock Top and they don't sell it at Safeway but that's not really saying anything. Safeway has a miserable beer selection. Oh how I miss Shop N Kart. 

 Hopefully someday I'll get my motorcycle license; I just need to man up. There's nothing like the wind on your face and the distinct smell of the air. I love the smell of the ocean and people's campfires, I'd prefer to stay away from exhaust and skunks though. 

This is a blurry cell phone picture of the view from the bar. One thing about Oregon is that it's stunningly beautiful. 

Villa Incognito.

Another great book I've recently read is Villa Incognito by Tom Robbins. It's Robbins eighth book but the first that I have read. It was awesome. I found it to be funny, interesting, and difficult. There are several stories going on that can be loosely tied together. The first is of the mythical Tanuki who is a badger like creature with a giant scrotum. He's an alcoholic party boy who likes to wreak a little havoc on the world. Another story is that of three MIAs who choose to remain "lost" in Laos after the end of the Vietnam War. These three engage in intellectually stimulating conversations. In fact, the whole book is filled with political and philosophical ideas that you can spend lots of time pondering if you so choose or you could kind of just skip over them and remain in the story of the the tanukis and the Vietnam guys. It's your choice. I really liked this book, it was fun, hilarious and thought provoking. 

Dog Purse.

I saw this beauty for sale at Macy's for the low low price of $42. There were at least two different breeds you could choose from. What the hell? If anyone I knows buys this I'm stabbing you in the face, and burning down your house. You deserve it. 

Celebrity Freebie.

So everyone knows that if you're in a relationship you have to turn down all offers of sex from anyone except for your celebrity freebie. You had better think long and hard about this freebie because you only get one. So if your freebie is Johnny Depp and Jake Gyllenhaal comes up and offers you a quickie you must say no or ruin your relationship with your significant other. My freebie has always been Kenny Chesney and will always be, well, for at least 5 more years anyway. I know everyone thinks he looks like he has down syndrome but my love for Kenny is unfaltering. There are some rules to this though, he has to serenade me and he can't take off that cowboy hat (dude is bald as fuck). Hello Mr. Chesney...

So who is your celeb freebie?

Happy Happy!

I saw this on etsy today and I will be purchasing it because it makes me happy happy. This seller, farouche, has a lot of awesome stuff in their shop! 

Moving to Utah.

So I complain a lot about Coos Bay. It's beautiful here and my family is here; I love them dearly and all but this town is dead for someone in their 20s. I am bored out of my mind and it kills me. I just feel restless which is a really bad thing for me. I hate feeling like I have ants in my pants. Anyway, I recently spent a few days in the Ogden area of Utah and I have decided to move there in January. I figured I should stay here until then so I wouldn't miss out on my sister's pregnancy and my dad's 75th birthday and by that time it will be the holiday season. My plan is to find some sort of job there and continue doing college online through Oregon State. Should be a nice change of pace for me. Can't wait! 

The Last Days of Dogtown.

I recently read The Last Days of Dogtown by Anita Diamant. So I don't really know how to describe this book. It's historical fiction set in early 1800s Massachusetts in a very poor, dying town. I didn't dislike it at all but I didn't really love it either. I read it one day when I was bored and enjoyed it, but not immensely. It's the kind of book that was fine to pass the time but I won't remember it in the future. Some reviews have touted it as a great character study. She does do a great job with her characters and I did end up wanting to know the outcome of the main character but it was kind of a depressing book. I've never read the author's other, more popular work The Red Tent which got stellar reviews. So maybe you should try that instead. 

A Trip to the Stars.

A Trip to the Stars by Nicholas Christopher is one of the best books I have read in a really long time. This is the kind of book I couldn't put down but didn't want to read too quickly because I didn't want it to end. It follows the journey of Loren who is abducted at the age of 10 from a New York Planetarium and whisked away to a new world in Las Vegas where he lives in a building full of people searching for lost things. Loren was an orphan twice over and under the care of his 20 year old Aunt, Alma, when he was taken. This event alters the trajectory of her life. Once a dedicated Classics major she now traverses the globe searching and trying to change her past. 

This book is magical. It's filled with imagination, folklore, some of the most interesting characters I have come across in awhile, and astrology. The author takes a nice mellow tone as he alternates you through the lives of Loren and Alma and all of the wonderful discoveries and heartbreak they encounter over the next 15 years of their lives. 

If I could, I would shove this book into your hands that's how absolutely wonderful it is. I came away feeling like I had just read an amazing story and learned a lot in the process. Please read it if you're in need of a book. 

Diner Food.

So I love diners. I love the kind of food that has so much grease it's dripping down your arm while you eat it. Yum! There is an exceptionally awesome diner in town except I think the children of the family that own it are total douche bags. I haven't frequented the place in a year because the last time I was there the owners' drunk children came in with their retarded drunk friends who thought it would be funny to go around and serenade all the tables in their awful singing voices. It wasn't funny; it was obnoxious. The one guy also felt the need to repeatedly inform everyone that he is going to be a lawyer. Like I give a fuck, you're still a prematurely balding giant prick. GO AWAY! You could be the fucking President and it still wouldn't help you get laid.

 Anyway, I was really hungry the other night so my friend Simon and I went and got all of the food you see in the picture above plus some. It was so yummy. At the table next to us there were 3 super nerdy looking guys in their 20s who had the nerdiest WoW conversation I've ever listened to for an hour. I mean, these guys were hardcore. It was impressive. Anyway, will somebody please open a diner for me that's not filled with douchebaggery? I promise I will eat there every single day and tell everyone I know about it. 

Mama

Dear Mom,

I'm in Utah. I'm eating all of the stuff you wish we had in Coos Bay. You know, Pizza Hut, Olive Garden... Don't worry. I'm enjoying all of it immensely. Maybe I'll pull a Dae-Dae and send you some food in the mail. Speaking of which, my 80 something year old aunt sent me miniature peaches in the mail. WTF? Hilarious. They were so yummy though, the ones that weren't rotten that is. 

If Religions Were Real.

Here is a video reenactment of 2 Kings 2:23-25. Enjoy!

23He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" ²⁴And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys. ²⁵From there he went on to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.

Zit = Crazy Jordan.

So today I had a huge zit on my forehead. I mean, freaking gigantic. It's like the size of a quarter. In all fairness, it could be a bug bite. Mosquitoes do bite people's faces sometimes. Anyway, I noticed it yesterday and then this morning but by the evening it was HUGE and I couldn't deal with it anymore. I have a swollen bump on my head and makeup wasn't about to be helpful so instead I took my 15 and walked down the mall and had some random lady cut me some bangs for $5. Good bye mondo zit. I haven't had bangs since I was 12 so it's an adjustment. I just pin them up when nobody is around. My dance teacher is going to be pissed but it was an emergency. I'm so fucking vain. 

My friend Simon has a theory that I spend too much time indoors and therefore am breaking out from lack of sunlight. He said, "Your face didn't look like that in high school, maybe you should stop hanging out in front of your computer all day." Jerk. He's right though, my skin has gone to shit since I entered my 20s. Anyway, does anyone know of any good skin care remedies? They have to be lazy people approved. I'm not spending all day on this shit, I'll live with the zits and continue to have creative hairstyles. 

Now that I've got my zit covered I can play all the video games I want. Genius! 

Eastern Sunz.

I don't think I've ever posted about my friend Aaron's band or group or whatever you call it. Aaron (Courage) used to be a tennis pro at the club I worked at for 3 years. He would just come for a few months at a time between the other things he had going on. Anyway, he and his friend TravisT make up Eastern Sunz. They rap about political, social, and environmental issues. Check them out, they're pretty awesome. Some of my favorite songs of theirs are Everybody's Anthem and A Problem. 

More Twilight Shit.

So my sister just text me "51 minutes!" referring to when the new Twilight movie comes out. I think I'm going to vomit. The fact that I'm related to someone who is watching that shit on opening night makes me physically sick. So, Buzzy brought me The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner which is the Twilight saga's latest money and hype making scheme. I tried to read it so I could make fun of it on my blog. I eventually succeeded but it took almost a week. The book is only 178 pages at about the 2nd grade reading level so that is pretty pathetic. It was awful. It was a hell of a lot worse than the original Twilight books. It reeks of, "Hey crazy Mormon chick, please pull a book out of your ass in the next week so we can publish it and make tons of money before the next movie comes out, k thanks!" The only part that was readable was the end which had basically been copied from one of the other books. This was one of the worst books I've read, ever. Ugh, I'm disowning my sister. 

Anthro Shoes

I've only ever purchased dresses from Anthropologie but I got the new catalog today and am in LOVE with their shoes. I need to find a second job where my paychecks can go just to Anthro purchases. Better yet, I need to get a job at Anthro. I bet they give employee discounts! 
Pretty sure I would find an excuse to wear these every single day of my life until they fell apart in pieces. 
The little booties she has on are purple and so ridiculously adorable in the catalog. Damn Anthro and their catalog they send me every month. *sigh*

mmm BEER!

Who wants to be my drinking partner? I'm pretty sure I'll need one for this monster bottle. Well, probably not, but a purple dinosaur once told me that sharing is caring. My little brother brought this down from Portland for me as the Coos doesn't necessarily boast a large beer selection and he says it's pretty freaking good. Can't wait to try it out! 

School Schmool

Holy shit, can't I be done with school yet? Registering for online classes is a royal pain in the ass because the selection is much more limited and some of them sound really retarded. No, I don't want to take a class entitled "ecofeminism" that has a 15 page paper requirement. Jesus Christ.

Jeffery Deaver.

Have you ever seen the movie The Bone Collector with Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie? Well, like many movies, it started out as a book. This particular book was written by Jeffery Deaver. There are many subsequent books featuring the characters Lincoln Rhyme and Amelia Sachs. My mom subscribes to some crazy mail order book club thing and she needed to order one more book so I ended up getting The Burning Wire as a birthday gift. I've never been much of a mystery reader and I doubt I'd be very into it if I read them continuously but he only writes one Lincoln Rhyme novel every other year which is a pace I can deal with. The stories are fairly quick paced I like the characters, Rhyme is a genius forensic scientist who solves crimes from his wheelchair as he is paralyzed. Sachs is his sidekick/love interest who isn't too shabby herself in the brains department. Anyway, for a nice easy read I would definitely check out some of Deaver's work. Oh, p.s. they're not scary mysteries. 

Cafe Mediterranean

So in North Bend there is a restaurant called Cafe Mediterranean. It is AMAZINGLY yummy and one of my little brother's all time favorites. Their Greek salad is so freaking good I could eat it everyday. The only problem with Cafe Med is that they aren't always open when they say they are going to be. They're my kind of people, they wake up late. Anyway, I'm kind of craving some lentil soup, hummus, and a Greek salad right now. 

Lip.

Dear Good Blog People,

I have a confession to make. I'm pretty sure I forgot to tell you I got my lip pierced. You may have noticed it in that picture of me from my dance recital. I wear clear jewelry in it for work but I tend to fail at keeping the jewelry in. The little washer falls off a lot so sometimes I must resort to other things. Anyway, if you're wondering why I did this the simple answer is that I had been drinking and it sounded like a good idea at the time. Actually, I quite like it, even if my mother detests it. Hmm, sounds like most of the stuff I do. 

Jordan

Sidewalk Art.

It's summer, time to bust out your sidewalk chalks. This guy, Julian Beever, takes it to a whole new level. His drawings are awesome. It's crazy to me that he would take the time to imagine and draw it all out on random sidewalks knowing that it will be destroyed. You can see more here. 

Bukowski

Sometimes a simple gift given without too much thought turns into a cherished possession. For my ex's birthday a few years ago I presented him with my favorite book, Pride and Prejudice. A few months later on my day I was given the two expansions to World of Warcraft and his favorite book, Ham on Rye. I had never heard of the author Charles Bukowski before but as it was my then boyfriend's favorite book I was eager to jump in and see if he had poor taste in authors. I got my iced tea, went to my porch and started reading. As it turned out, he didn't. I immediately fell in love with Bukowski's sentences, his words; they're beautiful. A lot of people may not like his subject matter of alcohol, women and how work is debilitating but you can't deny that he is brilliant. Ham on Rye is about the childhood of Henry Chinaski who you can follow into adult hood in Bukowski's other books. 

I'm not big on poetry. Most of it annoys the shit out of me but Bukowski has some pretty awesome stuff. Check out Betting on the Muse, it's a collections of poems and short stories. 

Papa.

Father's Day is coming up and as I have to work on that day I probably won't get around to posting about my dad so here he is. This is my papa. He's the best. He's just an adorable little old man who doesn't act his age. He loves to ride Harley's and he's a very hard worker. I think my dad is finally having a little fun in life. Anyway, love you Papa! 

Elven Lord Ensemble.

I love waking up to an email from etsy, perusing, and finding a gem. I saw this pic and about died laughing. For those of you going to some type of cosplay thing, you now know where you can get an Elven Lord outfit, from etsy seller LadyFaire. She makes apparel from different "dimensions" to help "facilitate your journey." bahahahaha

I'm Moving!

No, I'm not going to sit here and talk about biomass and alternative energy sources. I just needed a map and this one is much cooler than the one fourth grade classrooms have hanging on their walls. Anyway, I have decided that I'm moving. I haven't figured out where I'm moving to though. Any suggestions? I'm just sick of Coos Bay and how it holds people in place. It's the kind of place that kills your soul and it's time to move on and make a change.

Recital.

So my dance recital was last night. It was really fun. I hadn't been in a recital for years so I was a little nervous but not nearly as much as the younger girls so I mainly just tried to calm them down before the show. One thing that I don't miss about performances is dance makeup. It feels like you cake 15 pounds of crap onto your face. I forgot to get fake eyelashes so I borrowed some from one of the girls; they were bedazzled. That's right, they had rhinestones attached to the top of them. Anyway, it was a lot of fun and there was a nice turnout and all of the little girls were adorable.