Pity Party.

My boss is trying to throw himself a pity party because he has to work open to close for 22 days straight because I'm leaving. I don't feel bad, I gave him a month and a half of notice. It's not my fault he waits until the last second to hire a person. I have 8 days of work and we're still waiting on a background check for the new person. So at best I'll have 6 days training him. My job is not a job that can be learned in 6 days and to be quite honest, my boss only has a vague idea of all the things I do. So, if I don't train this guy, he's going to have to figure it all out himself, which will mean a lot of phone calls from corporate telling him he didn't do something, or that he did it wrong. Nobody wants to start a new job and be told they're wrong all the time. Anyway, I wish my boss wasn't such a depressed person who likes others to feel bad for him because he's screwing over everyone else who works in the store too. 

Seven Things.

I got a challenge from thetsaritsasez to do a vlog (video blog) where I talk about 7 things about myself. Then I'm supposed to pass it on to other blogs but I hate chain mail so I'll end the cycle here. You should go check out her blog though. It's fun, she's a young writer living in the San Francisco area and she just published her very first zine. By the way, I've never made a video before on my computer. Macs have a bunch of different programs to make videos. It's rather annoying actually. Let's see if this even works. 

Fucked Up Thing About Utah #1

Death by firing squad? What the fuck, seriously? After the suspension on capital punishment ended in 1976 only one state has stuck with this archaic way of killing a person, oh Utah. I mean, even your backwoods cousin, Idaho, has decided to outlaw this. So in June of this year, Utah executed it's 3rd person in this manner. I guess he asked to be killed in this way because of all of the speculation around lethal injection being inhumane. How about this, let's just stop killing people until we find a way that is humane, but is it really ever humane to kill someone?  

Edit:

Apparently you can no longer choose death by firing squad in Utah unless you were sentenced to death before 1984. It's not outlawed exactly but lawmakers have made lethal injection the default way to kill a person. Unless of course you were sentenced before that came into effect, then you get to choose for yourself. 

Haha the batshit crazy right wing religious propaganda spewing Fox News had this to say:

"Historians say the firing squad persisted in Utah long after the rest of the nation abandoned it because of the 19th century doctrine of the state's predominant religion. Early members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believed in the concept of "blood atonement" -- that only through spilling one's own blood could a condemned person adequately atone for their crimes and be redeemed in the next life."

It must be coherent because it's in text and not coming out of the mouth of one of their idiot "news" anchors. 

Rocky Horror Picture Show!

I went and saw Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Egyptian the other night. The Egyptian is an old theater that used to show new movies but went out of business and now the city or something owns it and shows old movies. So far I've seen Willow and Monty Python there as well. I love Rocky Horror. The theater was great, they gave everyone rice, toast and cards to throw and newspapers to hold over our heads while they sprinkled water on us from the balcony. Everyone was yelling at the screen, as expected, but there was one guy who was really into it. He was dressed up as Meatloaf's character, Eddie, and had a smart ass remark for basically every line in the movie. It was hilarious and awesome! Can't wait for the next time! 

I can't help but love Dr. Frank-N-Furter when he's singing the Sweet Transvestite song. It's so great, I can't look away. 

Riff Raff and Magenta are definitely my favorite though. 

Highlights!!

• I only have 9 days of work left!! This is awesome as every single day I feel like leaving. However, they haven't hired my replacement. I feel so bad for my co-workers once I'm gone. It's going to be chaos. 
  
• Someone thought I was 16 yesterday. I have decided that this is a good thing, even if 16 was a full 8 years ago. Or maybe it's a bad thing because it means I'm pimply and awkward? damn it!
  
• The gift I ordered for my dad's 75th birthday finally got here which is awesome since the first one I ordered was discontinued, even though it was from the company's 2010 catalog. What the fuck?!
  
• Yes, my dad is going to be 75. 
  
• I signed up for Mint.com due to my sister's suggestion. It's fucking awesome. I love it. You should definitely check it out to manage your finances. I like the goals section. 
  
• It's football season, leave me the fuck alone and GO JETS!!
  

Again? Is that really necessary?

breakup card found here. 

So I have this friend who has recently reunited with his ex...for the fourth time. Now, this is not a tempestuous on and off again kind of thing with stormy fights and hot makeup sex. This is a slow, boring, would rather stab myself in the ears repeatedly with a dull object than have to listen to him talk about it anymore kind of thing. I mean really, 6 years, 4 breakups and 3 engagement rings later and this time it's "different." Does that mean you're not going to buy her another engagement ring this time? I mean, come on people, everyone knows you have a two breakup rule. You are allowed to break up and get back together once. If you breakup again, then it is the end. I'll listen to you be sad through two breakups. After that, shut your pie hole. Stop being an emotional cutter and move on. This is the saddest case of codependency I've ever seen. He can't function on his own and has no idea how the world works. The guy can't even balance a checkbook and when he made his budget for living on his own, part of his budget was "strip clubs." As for her, I've never met anyone with lower self esteem in my life. From now on I've decided to be super obnoxious every time he says anything about their relationship and do the "talk to the hand" thing people used to do in middle school. I hope he gets it quickly because I will annoy myself with that.  

The Monarques

http://intothewoods.tv/mfnw/episode-8>

This was posted on a friend's facebook the other day. It's of the Portland based band The Monarques playing some songs on the MAX, which is the public transportation. I wish there was a cool band playing songs when I was on the MAX, instead it was just a bunch of creepy people who had just gotten off work. The girl with the curly hair is from North Bend, Or. The music put me in a good mood. I couldn't get the code to embed the video to work so you're going to have to click on the link. 

Macy's Blows.

So my Macy's payment was due the other day. I work three stores down from Macy's but since I had just signed up on their website for paperless statements I decided to pay online rather than walk my happy ass down there. WORST IDEA EVER!! First of all, you can't use a debit card, you have to use a check. ugh. Apparently they're old school at Macy's. Then because it's a check, it takes 3 to 4 days to process but they at no time tell you this, or if they did, I didn't notice it. What the hell? I've done my part Macy's, hurry the fuck up. So this morning on a national fucking holiday I get a call at 9 am that they haven't received my payment. They woke me up, I'm super confused and have no idea what the hell is going on. As far as I'm concerned, I paid the fucking bill. The guy isn't getting anywhere with me and gets frustrated and hangs up. Whatever, fine with me. Then they proceed to call me every 45 min to an hour even though I've already explained to the first guy probably 30 times that as far as I'm concerned the bill is paid and he can suck a dick. So I answer and piss another one off so he hangs up on me too. Then I get another call, I'm at work, I ignore it and then call back. This lady is a bitch and I was a bitch right back. I used some colorful language, spoke to her as though she was a five year old, and asked for her supervisor. I swear they listen to you while they put you on hold because she tried to put me on one of those indefinite holds and I eventually said, "they can make me wait all god damned day long, I don't give a fuck, I have speaker phone, it won't hold up my day at all" and I immediately got a supervisor who OH MY GOSH GUESS WHAT could refund the late fee they charged me but only after being a total prick. Wow, really? I'm supposed to thank you for that after the last 3 people I talked to were complete fucktards? They have some of the worst customer service I have ever come across and I will not be shopping at Macy's again for quite some time, if ever. 

tl;dr - Macy's customer service reps are a bunch of douchebags. 

Oh I left out the part where I threatened to call them every hour on the hour until they agreed to remove the late fee. I think that's what did it.

Oh Anthro.

Do you see those yellow shoes? Oh Anthro, why must you always send me such pretty pictures in your catalog? You're killin' me smalls!!

16 more days!

You know how in high school you get "senioritis" about halfway into your senior year? Well I have the same symptoms regarding my job. The moment I gave notice it became excruciatingly painful to get out of bed to come to work. I don't want to be here anymore and I have a mental countdown to my last day. I can't freaking wait! Although, I do really like our latest hire so it's not too bad when I work with her. She's entertaining and thinks I'm hilarious. Bonus points for her. 

Taylor Swift.

Fucking bitch. Everything she does is adorable. This has got to be the sweetest little video ever and I want every single outfit she wears in it, especially that headband. 

Boyfriend.

This is my boyfriend. His name is Jake. Yes, it's kind of new, not so new that I couldn't have written about him before. I was just making you wait, although you didn't know it at the time.
Yes, you're correct, he is very cute. He's also a string of other nice words, the usual, typical, and some even better than that. 

And One More.

Photos of Home.

These pictures were taken in and around my hometown in the last couple of days. It's such a beautiful place. 

The Hunger Games!

So I've recently read The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Hello, AWESOME! Supposedly they're young adult novels but whatever, they were kick ass. I would definitely say that if you're looking for a quick but completely engrossing read that you should pick these up. The final book just came out yesterday. Anyway, so The Hunger Games are these games devised by the Capitol, who is in power after a huge war in North America, to keep the remaining 12 districts in line. Basically, it's just another one of their devices to maintain their level of oppression. So, each of the 12 districts must send one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 and 18 to the hunger games, which is a fight to the death in a booby trapped arena where there can be only one victor. A drawing chooses the children who will go. Every child's name is put into the drawing, more slips are put in the older you are. It's completely fucked up but the actual novels are less bloodthirsty than they sound. There's love, friendship, rebellion, etc. 

These books can be read in less than a day each. I know when I picked up the first one I just had to read to the end. There was no way I was going to be able to take breaks from it. 

Manpacks

Manpacks is a subscription service for men's basics. You know, underwear, shirts and socks! There are several packages to choose from, once you sign up for a package they will send you your basics in the mail every 3 months. This is so ridiculous and yet I feel like I should sign my little brother up for it. Oh and yes, you can choose between boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs. 

Ground Zero Mosque Bullshit.

image from xkcd

I am so sick and tired of this Ground Zero mosque bullshit. Today I wake up to find that two people are posting this retarded chain status on facebook about how everyone should be outraged. I just want to leave a comment on their statuses saying, "wake up sheeple," but I try not to incite political arguments on facebook because the other person generally can't keep it up and it gets boring. First of all, it's not a fucking mosque; it's a community center. Classes will be taught there, there will be basketball courts, etc. It's good for the community. Secondly, it's not at Ground Zero, it's several blocks away. Thirdly, I don't give a fuck if it is a mosque, this is America, this is a country founded by people who left England because of religious persecution. I don't give a shit if you like a religion or not, hell, I don't like any of them, but it doesn't matter what you or I like, there is freedom of religion in this country. 

According to the Constitution: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." 

So whether you like the idea of a mosque near Ground Zero or not, get over it. It's the mother fucking Constitution people. Fourthly, this controversy over Ground Zero is so hyped because it's trying to distract people from the fact that the GOP denied health care coverage for 9/11 first responders. That is obviously the more important issue but nobody is paying any attention because they're so worked up over this mosque thing. Like it even matters in the long run. There's a Shinto temple near Pearl Harbor and nobody is shitting their pants about that one so can we please stop with this craziness and focus on things that actually matter for once. 

 

Backseat Blues.

Today I started cleaning out my car. "Started?" you ask. Yep. One reason is that I didn't get out of bed for most of the day due to a splitting headache. The other reason is, well, just look at the picture above. It all started when I had to commute and was basically living in my car and then it has just accumulated over the years but I figure if I'm moving I had better have some room to pack my clothes and craft supplies so out the junk comes. 

Sailor?

My mother detests the fact that I curse so much. She thinks it's unladylike. She's right, but that isn't going to stop me from doing it. It's part of who I am. I didn't really think it was all that bad though until I went to send a text message and I typed the letter 'F' and the predictive text program predicted that my word was going to be 'fuck'. I love you predictive text. 

Giving it a month.

I spent the day thinking about it and decided I will stay until Sept. 26th which is the end of the next sales period and that is it. Not one day longer. I will leave filing for the next person if I feel like it, and I'm not wearing those damn suit jackets if I don't want to. A cardigan will work just fine. Hey, you asked me to stay. 

Anyway, I was planning on moving to Utah in January. Guess I just bumped that up. I've decided I will take the month of October off and go down to California. My sister will have had her baby by then and I can spend a couple days with her and make my way down to my elderly Aunties' house and spend 4 or 5 days with them visiting all of their friends that I knew when I was a child. Should be fun. 

Then at the beginning of November my dad turns 75. Yeah, I know my dad is super old. He was 50 when I was born. Anyway, I want to be here for that because it's one of those milestone birthdays. After that I will be off to Utah. Then you can hear about my adventures navigating through Mormon land. Hooray!

Disgruntled Employee.

I quit my job today. I've never done that before. I threw all of my shit in a box and packed it to my car. Turns out I have quite a collection of books and clothing at work. Then my boss asked me to stick it out for another month. UGH. This is why you should not be friends with your boss and coworkers. I would feel bad just leaving them hanging so I'm sure I'll be in tomorrow, and 5 days a week for the next month or so. 

I used to really love my job, not so much anymore. There's nothing worse to me than being unhappy at work. I mean, you're there for 40 hours a week, if not more. That is a huge chunk of your life and I don't want my life being spent doing something that makes me unhappy. 

Headband

I made a yellow headband today. I'm pretty much in love with it. I'll probably wear it every single day for a few weeks until people start thinking it's weird that I don't change my headband like I do my underwear. 
This particular one I put on one of those elastic headbands that volleyball players seem to like to wear. It kind of gives me a bit of a headache but the last one I made I put on a plastic headband and it broke. I would really like to use the metal headbands that you wrap in ribbon but I don't know where to purchase them. Any thoughts?

I hate wedding season.

You know what is infuriating about life? When you feel like you could really use a month or so off from work so you can have some time to regroup and regain energy and instead you look at your schedule to realize that your normal two days off are only one day this week because you requested a different day to go to a wedding. UGH. I really want my day back, screw the wedding. 

Lady Gaga Paint.

This was absolutely fascinating to watch. It's a video of a drag queen painting herself to look like Lady Gaga. That is way more makeup skill than I possess. 

Sinatra Baby.

This is just a friendly reminder of the awesomeness that is Frank Sinatra. I love the mix of music on my ipod; it's so random. I've also found that one Frank Sinatra song usually isn't enough, he has the kind of voice you could listen to forever. However, I only own a few Sinatra songs. You may wonder why this is so I'll tell you so it doesn't have to confound you any longer. When I was a wee tyke of about 12 I bet my Uncle Cool that I would never own a Sinatra c.d. because it's "old person music." I don't even remember what we bet but I'll be damned if I'm going to lose. 

Seriously People?!

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a Woody Allen film that came out in 2008. I've been trying to get my mother and sister to watch it ever since. I absolutely love and adore this movie. I could take or leave Scarlett Johansson, she pretty much sucks in everything, but Penelope Cruz won an Oscar for her portrayal of the crazy, beautiful, and extremely talented Maria Elena. Plus, it has Javier Bardem who is extremely sexy and a phenomenal actor. My sister said today that she doesn't know who Javier Bardem is and it just about killed me. It's not like he was the first Spanish actor to be nominated for and to win an Academy Award or anything. Sheesh! Get on it, sister. 

Also, this film has one of the best soundtracks ever. I love the Spanish guitar. 

Chocolate Meringue.

Occasionally I cat sit for my friend Buzzy when he goes out of town. As payment he always makes awesome baked goods for me to consume. Last time he made these yummy Chocolate Meringue Bars and homemade chocolate ice cream. I don't even like ice cream and I thought it was amazing. Thanks Buzzy! 

Pokemon Rap.

The Birds and the Beedrills - a song integrating the 151 Pokémon as sexual innuendos. This is hilarious. Beware it is NSFW. 

The Fair.

When I was younger I was all about riding every single ride at the fair. Now in my old age of 24 all I wanted to do was eat a plateful of teriyaki noodles, stay out of the wind, and look at the pretty lights at night. Jesus, I sound like I'm 80. I do love it thought when it gets dark and all of the rides are lit up; it's so pretty.  

Happy Anniversary!

Happy first anniversary Brooke and Raf! Love you guys! I hope the rest of your life is just as fun and awesome as this photo.