Recital.

So my dance recital was last night. It was really fun. I hadn't been in a recital for years so I was a little nervous but not nearly as much as the younger girls so I mainly just tried to calm them down before the show. One thing that I don't miss about performances is dance makeup. It feels like you cake 15 pounds of crap onto your face. I forgot to get fake eyelashes so I borrowed some from one of the girls; they were bedazzled. That's right, they had rhinestones attached to the top of them. Anyway, it was a lot of fun and there was a nice turnout and all of the little girls were adorable. 

My Abandonment.

Guess what I did today. That's right, read another book. This particular book was My Abandonment by Peter Rock. It's not a true story but the idea came to him from one. He saw a brief article in the Oregonian about a 53 year old man and his 13 year old daughter found living in Forest Park, which is a huge nature preserve in Portland, Oregon. The girl tested above where she was supposed to be for her age level on all of the tests the state gave her as her dad had been "homeschooling" her in the park. There were then two brief updates about the two in the newspaper. Rock took these brief little clips and flushed them out into a very engrossing book. 

It was a quick read, perfect for a flight as it only took me a couple hours to finish. It's told from the viewpoint of the young girl, Caroline. The first 3/4 of the book was completely engrossing but somewhere near the end it started to get weird and I felt like the author was losing me. Also, I'm not really sure he was particularly successful in making me feel like it was a young girl telling the story, the narration was great, but not necessarily believable from a little girl. There was a very unsuspected twist near the end which I loved because it took the book in a completely different direction. Overall though it was an interesting story and I definitely wanted to know how it ended. 

Dance.

Hey people, I have a dance recital on the 5th of June at 7pm. Yes, I dance. No, I'm not as clumsy as you thought I was. I started dancing in high school for my school's dance team. We were pretty awesome. Before that I did gymnastics as a kid. I'm not going to pretend like I'm athletic, I'm definitely not. I do really love to dance though. I used to do lots of different types of dance but have decided that tap is really annoying when everyone is not together, it sounds like crap and hurts my head and that white girls look retarded trying to do hip hop. Anyway, I've reduced my dancing down to only jazz which just happens to be, for me, the most fun. 

The Secret Life of Bees.

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd was a New York Times bestseller and has been made into a movie. I've never seen the movie but I quite liked the book. It's one of those books that you know will have a happy ending and everything will work out okay but that doesn't take away any of the enjoyment. The protagonist is a young white girl living in South Carolina in the '60s who runs away with her black maid, Rosaleen, from her asshole father and ends up living with three black women in a pink house, one of whom owns a honey business. The story is of the girl, Lily Owens, coming to terms with her past (she may have accidentally killed her mother at the age of 4) and working through her struggles. It's your basic, generic, feel good novel but I enjoyed it as the story is interesting and paints a picture of life and the changes that were taking place when the Civil Rights Act was put into effect. 

Beer.

Today I tried the beer my little brother got me for my birthday. I had never had a braggot before and neither had my friend so we were curious to try it. At first I was really unsure, it wasn't as sweet as I had thought it would be considering it's made with honey. However, after I let it sit for awhile it got better and better as it neared room temperature and I found myself really enjoying it. 
After that we had some Rogue Double Dead Guy Ale. Rogue Ale Brewery was founded in Ashland but their headquarters is now located in Newport, Oregon. They make all kinds of different beers but regular Dead Guy Ale is one of their most popular. This is the more intense version. It is really flavorful and definitely tastes like beer. While drinking we ordered some Domino's Pizza which has all new sauce and crust, it doesn't taste like cardboard anymore!  We also watched Three Sheets which is a hilariously fun drinking show which is complete with its own drinking game. Fun times!
Of course she goes for my glass. I've heard that dogs have really clean mouths but I'm not convinced. 

Applesauce.

I'm cat sitting for my friend Buzzy who used to be a librarian but who is now apparently a comedian. It's common knowledge in my circle of friends that I detest cooking and once subsisted on dinners of applesauce for two weeks. Last time I watched the cats I complained to Buzzy that he had no food in his house. It was really warm and he had no popsicles, no chocolate, nothing yummy. This is what I get for whining, a fridge full of applesauce. 

I'm going to eat all of the cherry flavored ones and leave only the orange and grape behind. Nobody likes those flavors anyway, I don't understand why they even put them in the box. 

The Handmaid's Tale

Recently I read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. If you haven't read this, go pick it up from your library right now. It was written in 1986 but felt like it could take place today; which is very scary. The U.S. government has been overthrown by the Sons of Jacob which is a society run by males where women are severely oppressed and they create the Republic of Gilead. After the war many people are not able to reproduce because of the atomic bombs and other toxins that were used to win the war. Because of this, any young, fertile woman is turned into a housemaid, placed into a married commander's home where she serves as a type of concubine in a very strange and strict ritual to try and further the human race. 

This is the story of Offred (not her real name, but is derived from the name of her commander, of Fred) who is a handmaid and it tells the story of her previous life as a wife and mother, and then of the attempts of the Sons of Jacob to brainwash the young women, and of her commander's dissatisfaction with his marriage and of his breaking the rules by engaging in intellectual pursuits with Offred. It's a very interesting novel and slightly scary because I can almost envision this craziness happening. 

This was such a good book I would highly recommend reading it. 

Agave

While you're in Ashland at the Shakespeare Festival you should probably hit up Agave for the best chips and guacamole ever! I used to work at a hotel right next to Agave and I would get the chips and guac and green chile & cheese tamale for lunch almost every single day and it never failed to be amazingly delicious. 

You really could take a vacation to Ashland just to eat, there are so many great restaurants. Just watch out for the city tax on prepared food. 

Pride & Prejudice at OSF

Yesterday my friend Buzzy and I went to see Pride and Prejudice at OSF in Ashland. OSF is the Oregon Shakespeare Festival which runs from February to October. As it is for many women, Pride and Prejudice is my favorite novel, ever, hands down. I mean, I love 100 Years of Solitude, and many a work by Shakespeare but Pride and Prejudice has always owned my heart. How can you not fall in love with Elizabeth Bennet & Mr. Darcy? Anyway, I was curious how they would present the book as a play and it was wonderful, as they always are at OSF. Mr. Bennet was particularly well played as was Mrs. Bennet. 

If you are ever anywhere near Oregon you should travel out of your way to visit Ashland and attend the Oregon Shakespeare Festival as it is completely worth it. 

Prickly Pear Braggot

My little bro got me this for my birthday. It's Widmer Brothers' Reserve Prickly Pear Braggot. In other words, it's beer, well, supposedly a braggot is something like half mead, half ale. Widmer is a brewery in Portland, Oregon where my little brother lives. I'm so excited to try it! I think you should come down this weekend so we can try it together. Thanks Rouse Rouse. love you!

Al Franken!

Happy Birthday Al Franken! Thank you for not being yet another gigantic douche bag on Capitol Hill. Thank you for all of your hard work, for displaying common sense and for being able to hold logical conversations with your constituents. Please continue to be the man.   

Baby Hippo

Cute now but will kill you when it's older. Have a great day!

Peacocktail Dress

Anyone want to buy me a dress for $399 and then manufacture some sort of event I can wear it to because I'm pretty much in love with this. k thanks! 

It's handmade by Veronica Reis and you can find some more of her other cool dresses in her etsy shop. 

Fringe

My new favorite television show is Fringe. It's sci-fi but not hokey and it has the super hot Joshua Jackson; now I understand why everyone was so obsessed with Dawson's Creek when I was younger. Anyway, you also have the bad ass female FBI agent and the crazy scientist old man and lots of weird pseudo-scientific craziness. You can watch it on Hulu.

World MS Day - May 26th 2010

Beautiful Day - English from MSIF on Vimeo.

World MS Day is coming up on the 26th of May. Multiple Sclerosis is described as, "a chronic, often disabling disease. It is one of the most common disabling neurological conditions amongst young adults in the northern hemisphere. Over 2,000,000 people in the world have MS." The symptoms are unpredictable and different for everyone. There is no cure.

Just like all diseases, MS not only touches those who have it but also the families who are trying to help take care of their loved ones and understand a disease that presents itself in so many ways.

So on the 26th please take time to support those living with MS, even if it's only by thinking a good thought in your head. To find out how to get involved in the global movement to end MS or to donate go to www.nationalmssociety.org or www.worldmsday.org

Judge A Book

Judge a Book by its Cover is an awesome blog that posts book covers of some of the most random and ridiculous books accompanied by funny commentary. This coloring book was one of today's gems. I kind of want it. Here's an example, not so much from the blogger but more from an amazon comment:

"...here's another potentially useful book. Not only can you color in the pictures, but you can learn new hairstyles for your vajayjay. My favorite comment on Amazon.com: "The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas isn't just a coloring book. It's inspiration. When first presented with this, I strummed through it thinking it was a joke. But I soon realized that this is a guidebook for redecorating your vagina, especially if it's been around awhile and you feel like you've run out of new ways to dress it up. I put aside the crayons, except to use to draw in accessories like scarves and snoods, in favor of spray glitter, various stick-on mustaches, mini-flower and seed arrangements. (I didn't like the seeds -- too elementary school, hence, creepy. You don't want a bean and seed turkey down there, believe me!) My current favorite is stick-on beadwork in an ornate Tiffany-esque peacock design. (Tip: surprise your ob/gyn with a beadwork speculum! He'll flip!) Also, if it's your bridal day, try a delicate self-adhesive Velcro surprise for your honeymoon. Your partner will never forget it!""

Yellow Owl Workshop

My friend Buzzy got me some super sweet stamps from Yellow Owl Workshop for my unbirthday. I went ahead and checked out their website and already have my little heart set on the cityscape and seascape stamp sets.  I also received some adorable swallow ornaments that I now must decide just where to hang because they are too cute not to be put up immediately. Thanks Buzzy! 

Daria

Oh Daria Morgendorffer, I've missed you so...

Daria came out on dvd today. I am so happy about this! I'm going to need to buy it asap and relive all of the wonderful episodes. Daria was one of my favorite shows when I was younger. She was so intelligent, bookish, and awesomely snarky, I was in love. The super hot Trent character wasn't bad either. I had a huge crush on a cartoon character. That's slightly embarrassing now. Anyway, Daria was one of Mtv's best, they did have some quality programming 15 years ago. 

Male Choir A Cappella Lady Gaga Awesomness

This is an all male choir called On The Rocks from the University of Oregon singing Bad Romance by Lady Gaga a cappella. It's pretty good and their dancing made me laugh so hard. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers or soon to be mothers like my sister Brooke. Congrats again to you and Raf, I can't wait to meet baby Moon Tiger Grass Blade.

EDIT: Comic from xkcd, of course. 

Diary by Chuck Palahniuk

Then I read Diary by Chuck Palahniuk. LOVED it! I've read other books by Palahniuk and have seen Fight Club a million and a half times, which is based on his book of the same name. Diary is a bit of a horror novel but not too scary or overly gruesome. The book takes shape as a "coma diary" that Misty Wilmot writes for her husband Peter so he'll know what happened just in case he wakes up from the coma he's been in since his attempted suicide.

Misty was once a bright and promising young art student but now she's "queen of the slaves" and works at the hotel on a small island overrun by tourists as she tries to scrape up a living to support herself, daughter and mother-in-law. The locals have other plans for Misty and her artistic talents though. 

This novel has some brilliant lines that I absolutely loved:

"Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit."

"What you don't understand you can make mean anything."

"All the effort in the world won't matter if you're not inspired."

Never Let Me Go

Next up was Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. It was nominated for a 2005 Man Booker Prize, and was Time magazine's Book of the Year for 2005. It either won or was nominated for all kinds of things and I found it to be awful. Well, maybe not awful but I was bored out of my mind until roughly page 200 and the book is less than 300 pages so that's not good. The story unfolds very slowly, certain things are kept from the reader and slowly unveiled. This irritates the shit out of me. I would much rather know all of the facts and go from there rather than trying to figure out what the book is about, not that it was particularly difficult given the language the author used. 

The book is about a young girl, Kathy, and her life growing up in a special boarding school, her coming of age years, and her adult life. The boarding school section was especially slow going for me and that's the part that comes first. 

*If you might read this and you like surprises stop reading now*

So, once you get through all the mumbo jumbo b.s. this book is about cloning people and basically growing them for organ harvesting. The thing that really pissed me off about his book is that he just barely scrapes the surface of the ethics of this idea. I understand that the book isn't about that but it just made me dislike the book even more. I mean, they create these babies who grow into adults and are segregated, for the most part, from the outside world. These clones are used for parts, grown to die, except they have thoughts, feelings and possibly even souls. Whether or not this is okay and how society copes with it is an idea that is barely touched upon. UGH! Debating the ethics of this would be a good book, some sappy love story bullshit is not. 

Bailey's Cafe

I've been too engrossed in reading lately to post much about what I've actually read. My friendly local librarian (Buzzy) dropped a stack of books off at my work and I've been plowing my way through them. First up was Bailey's Cafe by Gloria Naylor. I absolutely loved this book. It reads as several short stories about the lives of all of these misfits that congregate in the same place, Bailey's Cafe, which is kind of a way station for those who have been treated poorly by the world. They come to his cafe and Eve's bordello for safety when they have absolutely nowhere else to turn. Bailey's Cafe is a kind of mythical place as it only appears when a person truly needs it, otherwise you will never be able to find it, even if you had previously been there. None of the characters' stories were happy, they were all heartbreaking actually, but the book leaves you with an uplifted feeling, like they just might be able to find redemption. I would definitely recommend reading this, it's an easy read too, very quick. I might not suggest it for younger readers as there are frequent references to sex and sexuality. 

May the Fourth be with you!

Happy Star Wars day my friends! I'm going to honor this important day in our culture's history by watching Empire and drinking a beer. 

Sutured Heart Necklace

Yet another great handmade etsy find, this time through their Etsy Finds email they send out regularly. I really like this necklace, it's fun and makes me smile. It can be found in idlehandsdesigns shop along with other quirky jewelry like mustache necklaces and owl rings. 

What's for dinner?

I detest cooking. I have no patience for it and it drives me insane. I feel like it's a waste of time. This has, in the past, led me to eating applesauce for dinner everyday for two weeks in a row. Anyway, when I do decide to cook I can't figure out what to make. Today I have found my answer thanks to the people over at reddit. They linked this website What The Fuck Should I Make For Dinner. Its first suggestion was spiced roast chicken breast, I then informed it that "I don't fucking eat meat" and it suggested grilled eggplant and sweet pepper sandwiches. Yum! 

Super Mario Crossover.

I'm playing Super Mario on my computer all day long but as Link from Zelda instead of Mario. This is the best day ever! Go HERE to play. You can also play as Mega Man or several other characters. 

Charter Internet Cont.

Dear Charter, 

You still suck. I'm on the phone with one of your representatives right now. I'm on hold while they run around like chickens with their heads cut off because they don't know a damn thing. I made an appointment to have a tech come out and guess what, he/she didn't show up. I'm really pleased that I got up early on my day off for this. I just absolutely love your superiorly shitty customer service. The hold message is awesome, letting me know how many customer care representatives you have to make my experience wonderful is hilarious. Thanks for that because it's about the only funny thing in dealing with your company. Everything else is just absolutely frustrating and a complete waste of time. Looks like it's time to call Verizon.  

Fuck you, 

Jordan. 

Fabric

Working in the mall I work at usually isn't too bad on your budget since half of the stores in the mall have closed down. For me, the problem comes in the form of JoAnn Fabrics. I buy so many craft supplies on a fairly regular basis. I've even made friends with one of the ladies that works there. Anyway, on my latest visit I picked up this fabric because it was too cute to not have. Now, I don't sew, so I'm going to beg my dear sister to make me something with it. I have 4.7 yards I think, that's all they had. Please make me something cool. It's a very thin cotton, ok go!

Spammers

Dear Spammers,

Please stop leaving spam comments. All comments are moderated by me. I try to not be a comment nazi and so I allow all of them, even the crazy religious ones. I do however deny your fake Gucci shoe comments, all 3 zillion of them. I know you won't read this because it's very likely that you can't read. Just in case you are literate: please stop. It's obnoxious. Those of you spamming me in German though, please continue as it's hilarious. 

Sincerely,

Jordan.