Butter.

One day I was reading a blog, Lovely Morning, and she had posted about making buttermilk pancakes when they had fresh buttermilk after making butter. She gave the recipe for the pancakes but I was more intrigued with the idea of making butter. I realized from reading Little House on the Prairie as a child that people made butter but I never considered that they still do. Ever since then I had been wanting to try it. 

The first entry on google was about making it by shaking cream in a jar. You can put some marbles in the jar to help the process go more quickly but basically you shake it until it becomes butter. Fuck that. I tried it for about 10 minutes, decided I was going to get tennis elbow and gave up. I did manage to get it to a whipped cream consistency before giving up though. Next I found instructions on using an electric beater and finished it up that way which was a zillion times easier and faster. I would recommend skipping the shaking unless you have a little kid you need to get out of your hair and you can make them shake it.
In the end, I had two little jars like this half full of butter. I gave one to my friend Buzzy and kept one. Making your own butter is cool because you can decide if you want to add salt or not plus it's super fun. I'll definitely be doing this from now on. The final product came out really yummy and slightly sweet tasting. Next time I want to try to make some garlic butter.

The Italians.

Another cool thing about visiting the Aunties is they take us to visit their friends. I've known their friends pretty much my entire life since I spent every summer down there until I was 16. Three of their friends are referred to as "The Italians" as they're all from Italy. These ladies are awesome. They have all kinds of crazy stuff growing in their backyards and insist you take some of it home with you so we were loaded down with tomatoes, red bell peppers, pears, pomegranates, persimmons, and apples. It's their way of being hospitable, shoving vegetables and fruit at you. I'll take it! 

California.

So I spent all of last week driving around California with a piece of shit gps. It told me to take an exit that was closed, turn left onto a one way road going right, and at one point it even shut off and refused to turn back on. I guess that is what I get for using a hand me down gps from 1917. Anyway, the purpose of my trip was to go visit my sister in Livermore who just had a baby a month ago, and my Aunties who live a little farther south. On one day I even go to see everyone at once when Brooke, Raf & Lana decided to come visit the Aunties too. 

Everyone goes gaga over a newborn. She is pretty cute though when she's not freaking out. 
Here is my sister and her little family. Aren't they freaking adorable? It's the American dream at work, man. 
Here I am with Brooke and Lana. I need a haircut or to start using hairbands and making mini ponytails because this just looks unkempt. I hate this length of hair. I want my long hair back already. 
Lana has a good grip. She's really cute and it's true that all babies do is eat, sleep, and poop. Well, that and cry. She cries a lot but my sister and Raf have a little thing they do to get her to stop crying. They sing her a pretty inappropriate pop song and move her up and down. It's highly entertaining. 

Raising Hope.

My new favorite show I've been watching on Hulu is Raising Hope. It's so ridiculously funny. It's just really absurd but I find myself laughing a lot. It's about this 20 year old guy who has unprotected sex with this girl after rescuing her only to see the next morning on the news that she's a serial killer who kills all of her boyfriends. She ends up in jail, 9 months later she has his baby and then is electrocuted. So he ends up with the baby, but he has a lot of help since he lives with his mom, dad, and maw maw who suffers from dementia and is hilariously played by Cloris Leachman who I love! This whole family is nutso but it's awesome. 

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Buzzy! Thanks for being an awesome friend, and for watching my cat. I hope she doesn't kill your cats, or get mauled by Rosie. 

Volume 25.

Yesterday I posted a print from etsy shop Vol. 25 but then I went back and saw this epic beauty. I just might have to get this for my wall, or a friend. Hmm...maybe a great anniversary gift for someone. It's too awesome to not buy it though. It's entitled "Love is Magical." oh yes, yes it is. Oh wait, I'm pretty sure my sister had a unicorn obsession when she was little. Looks like I figured out who is getting this baby! 

Procrastinator.

So sometimes when I should be doing homework I instead procrastinate by visiting all of my favorite online places. I am taking a particularly awful grouping of classes this term so the frequency of my procrastination has sky rocketed. Oh well, at least I found some cool stuff. Do certain colors ever make you want to dance? Maybe it's not the color itself but the emotion attached to the color. Orange and yellow always put me in a sunny mood which is pretty weird. 

Anyway, this colander would be perfect for draining my mac n cheese noodles. Sold here. 

Next up is this awesome Anthro rug and drawer pull or maybe it was a door knob, now I can't recall. Either way, I love it. 

I've been doing a lot of browsing on etsy lately looking for a baby gift for my new niece. Etsy has a lot of great items but there are people out there making some ugly shit too. Anyway, I came across a shop called Vol. 25 and the have all kinds of cool prints.
Another etsy find, this time in edor's shop. It always takes me a long time to buy from etsy because I always convince myself I don't actually need the item, but this is so cute I just might have to buy it. Plus, it reminds me of Oregon. 

Aidan's Monsters

Five year old Aidan Reed is fighting Leukemia, and has his very own etsy shop where he sells his drawings to help offset the cost of his treatment. They sell out fast but keep checking back so you can become the proud owner of a Frankenstein or a Scary Clown drawing. If the shop is sold out when you check, you can click on the tab that says how many sales he's had, right now it's at 480, to see his artwork. 

Casting My Ballot, But Not For This Fucktard.

So this asshat is running for Congress and just so happens to be running in District 4, my district. Last night I went to a forum between Art Robinson (R), Peter DeFazio (D), and the weird but endearing Green Party candidate Mike Beilstein. Mr. Robinson is a very loony, very angry little man. He wants to get rid of public education, he thinks children should be home schooled, which is convenient since he sells a line of home schooling materials. He also believes that the government should not help students pay for college but they should work their way through college like he did 40 years ago. The cost of attending college is ten times what it was when he attended. He also doesn't believe in global warming and thinks that nuclear energy is the only viable option for the future. Anyway, he's certifiable, just watch the video and see how far you can get before you want to start banging your head into a wall. 

Cooking Maven.

Okay so perhaps I'm not even close to an expert but I have been cooking a lot lately and I've actually been enjoying it. So strange. 

I had a request for more fried won tons so I started making them but then all of the sudden I had a killer craving for won ton soup. Crapola! There was no vegetable broth in sight and I don't eat meat. 
I said, "fuck it, I want won ton soup," so I started folding for both fried won tons and for the soup. I also did a quick google search for vegetable broth. Turns out it's ridiculously easy to make. 
All you have to do is throw random vegetables into a pot with water, let it boil, and then bring it back down and let it cook. So I did but then I tried it and it tasted like celery water. Oops. I took out all of the celery and added a tomato and red bell pepper. That evened out the taste and it was perfect. 
Yeah, I lost all my bobby pins so I look like Cousin It. I'm okay with that, really. 

So really vegetable broth is super simple. It turned out really well and all I put in there was:

• too much celery
  
• garlic
  
• onion
  
• parsley
  
• red bell pepper
  
• tomato
  
• salt
• carrot

Just throw in whatever vegetables you have lying around, you don't even have to peel them, just chop 'em up and throw 'em in. It may not seem that exciting to you but this is a huge feat for the girl who goes to 7-11 every day to buy taquitos for dinner. 

After the fact my friend Sam FINALLY logged on to facebook. Sam happens to be a professional chef. He says:

one part parsley, 2 parts celery, 2 parts carrot, 4 parts onion

chop all that shit up

sautee in oil til onions are clear

add water and reduce 

Fucking Hilarious.

I thought you guys might want to know how the world ends, so I found this little gem for you. Now you don't have to wonder anymore. 

Another Week!

I've decided to extend my Utah trip by another week. I've been sick since about the third day I was here and I'm still coughing and not feeling up to par. We didn't get as much stuff done as we would've liked with the painting because we were both coughing up lungs so this gives us more time to fill up the room we just finished painting last night. Plus, I can't go visit the baby niece or my Aunties when I'm sick, something about babies and the elderly being more susceptible to disease. Wimps. 

More Painting.

This just looks like a crazy person paint disaster but I promise it's not. When Jake and I were choosing paint colors at Lowe's we saw these pamphlets that had cool designs on the wall. We wanted a redish wall but didn't want too much red in the room, especially with the bright yellow, so we decided to try diamonds. 
Jake did all the taping because there is no way I have that much patience. It turned out wonderfully and we both love it. It's different but still really crisp looking and it's a whole wall we don't have to arrange pictures on. Heck yes!
Speaking of yellow walls. This is our closet. It's my favorite color and the inside, although in this picture looks white, is actually a super soft yellow that compliments the bright yellow really well. It looks very pretty in person. 

Hello From Utah.

So I'm over here in Mormon Land getting things ready for my move next month. It's kind of a pita to open a new bank account, get a new post office box, and navigate through a land filled with young couples with 700 children. Anyway, I've been here for a couple days and will be here for about 10 more. That should give me plenty of time to get all my crap in order. Here is what I did today:

I took a picture of my crackhead kitten Riff. He loves boxes of any kind. He's melting the damn candy bars, so inconsiderate. 
This is all that is left of the 100 or so fried won tons I made today. I'm not usually a very domestic person but I've been craving these, I even had a half dream about them. I don't ever remember my dreams but sometimes when I'm half asleep and half awake I think of random things and I kept thinking of fried won tons. It's best to heed your half dream's advice. 
We also started painting. Yes, that is a bright yellow wall. I'm not entirely certain I could live without a yellow wall. I mean, once you have one you can't really go back to not having one. Good thing my boyfriend loves me, as evidenced by his attempt at hieroglyphics in paint. 

Nina Simone

It's my first day being unemployed! I've been very productive. I found my passport, replaced my missing drivers license, and have been dancing to this song while doing laundry all day! I love it!

I am an Aunt!

Yesterday my sister had her first child, a little girl who she and Raf named Solana Mei. Mei is a family name. Both of my Aunties and my Grandma had it as their middle name. Anyway, she is super cute but I'll wait until my sister posts on her blog before I post any pictures. I can't wait to go see her in October. She's so sweet. Congrats Brooke and Raf, love you guys!! 

To Do.

I've been really stressed lately trying to get things organized and taken care of for work, school, and my move but my to do list is getting shorter so I'm much happier. Recently I have:

• Ordered my textbooks, they were very inexpensive this term (less than $200) so I was ecstatic.
  
• Paid tuition.
• FINALLY hired someone for my job, and he's intelligent and has a good memory like I do. I think he'll do great, which I was really hoping for.
• Found someone to watch my car in Portland instead of having to leave it at the airport at $20 a day. That's freaking ridiculous. 

Things I'm still stressed about:

• The 14 hour drive to Utah, and how my cat will handle it. She meowed incessantly on a 3 hour car ride, I was going to kill her. 
  
• Fitting all my shit in my car. I drive an Aveo, I'll take pictures, don't worry.
  
• Finding a job once I'm there. Hopefully one I don't absolutely hate. 
  
• Living with people. My last cohabitation experience was pretty awful. But I still refer to my old roommate as Sandy Vagina Frankie so at least there's that.

Also, I've loved Monet's water lillies since I was a little girl. They are so calming and beautiful. 

Cat.

I got a kitten yesterday. I didn't really want a kitten but I couldn't let him go to the shelter. This is why people need to stop being so damn irresponsible and get their cats spayed or neutered. A lot of places will do it at a very inexpensive price. Anyway, I named him Riff after Riff Raff and since Jake already has a cat named Rocky, they go together wonderfully!  

Also...

Perhaps it's just me but Pepe LePew seems like he's well on his way to being a rapist in this cartoon. 

le you sound like a moron.

I just logged on to facebook to see that 3 of my friends posted something with the words "le sigh" in it. I'm sorry but this is one of the more irritating popular phrases that people use right now. It's used to signify disappointment, as though you were actually sighing. Now, these people who are posting it I love dearly, and they are intelligent people so why on earth are they using a phrase from a cartoon skunk, and an obnoxious cartoon skunk at that? I realize that this has been popularized on the internet but it still sounds moronic. I'm sorry dear friends, but I thought you needed to know. 

Fucked Up Thing About Utah #2

3.2% by weight, 4% by volume, that's the alcohol content of their beer. Umm..what?! I have beer in my fridge right now that is over 10% alc/vol. Apparently you can only buy beer at convenience stores until 1 am. You can get stronger beer at liquor stores or restaurants with liquor licenses but they can't sell any on Sunday. Apparently beer over 4% alc/vol is considered liquor. This state is so batshit. According to wikipedia, "Utah has the lowest per capita consumption of alcohol in the United States"

It's so weird to me since Oregon is full of breweries that make amazing beer, and I love beer. I guess I should probably stock up now and pack my car full of beer rather than clothes. I'll probably need it more with all the crazy Utahns. Yes, Utahns. 

Pity Party.

My boss is trying to throw himself a pity party because he has to work open to close for 22 days straight because I'm leaving. I don't feel bad, I gave him a month and a half of notice. It's not my fault he waits until the last second to hire a person. I have 8 days of work and we're still waiting on a background check for the new person. So at best I'll have 6 days training him. My job is not a job that can be learned in 6 days and to be quite honest, my boss only has a vague idea of all the things I do. So, if I don't train this guy, he's going to have to figure it all out himself, which will mean a lot of phone calls from corporate telling him he didn't do something, or that he did it wrong. Nobody wants to start a new job and be told they're wrong all the time. Anyway, I wish my boss wasn't such a depressed person who likes others to feel bad for him because he's screwing over everyone else who works in the store too. 

Seven Things.

I got a challenge from thetsaritsasez to do a vlog (video blog) where I talk about 7 things about myself. Then I'm supposed to pass it on to other blogs but I hate chain mail so I'll end the cycle here. You should go check out her blog though. It's fun, she's a young writer living in the San Francisco area and she just published her very first zine. By the way, I've never made a video before on my computer. Macs have a bunch of different programs to make videos. It's rather annoying actually. Let's see if this even works. 

Fucked Up Thing About Utah #1

Death by firing squad? What the fuck, seriously? After the suspension on capital punishment ended in 1976 only one state has stuck with this archaic way of killing a person, oh Utah. I mean, even your backwoods cousin, Idaho, has decided to outlaw this. So in June of this year, Utah executed it's 3rd person in this manner. I guess he asked to be killed in this way because of all of the speculation around lethal injection being inhumane. How about this, let's just stop killing people until we find a way that is humane, but is it really ever humane to kill someone?  

Edit:

Apparently you can no longer choose death by firing squad in Utah unless you were sentenced to death before 1984. It's not outlawed exactly but lawmakers have made lethal injection the default way to kill a person. Unless of course you were sentenced before that came into effect, then you get to choose for yourself. 

Haha the batshit crazy right wing religious propaganda spewing Fox News had this to say:

"Historians say the firing squad persisted in Utah long after the rest of the nation abandoned it because of the 19th century doctrine of the state's predominant religion. Early members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believed in the concept of "blood atonement" -- that only through spilling one's own blood could a condemned person adequately atone for their crimes and be redeemed in the next life."

It must be coherent because it's in text and not coming out of the mouth of one of their idiot "news" anchors. 

Rocky Horror Picture Show!

I went and saw Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Egyptian the other night. The Egyptian is an old theater that used to show new movies but went out of business and now the city or something owns it and shows old movies. So far I've seen Willow and Monty Python there as well. I love Rocky Horror. The theater was great, they gave everyone rice, toast and cards to throw and newspapers to hold over our heads while they sprinkled water on us from the balcony. Everyone was yelling at the screen, as expected, but there was one guy who was really into it. He was dressed up as Meatloaf's character, Eddie, and had a smart ass remark for basically every line in the movie. It was hilarious and awesome! Can't wait for the next time! 

I can't help but love Dr. Frank-N-Furter when he's singing the Sweet Transvestite song. It's so great, I can't look away. 

Riff Raff and Magenta are definitely my favorite though. 

Highlights!!

• I only have 9 days of work left!! This is awesome as every single day I feel like leaving. However, they haven't hired my replacement. I feel so bad for my co-workers once I'm gone. It's going to be chaos. 
  
• Someone thought I was 16 yesterday. I have decided that this is a good thing, even if 16 was a full 8 years ago. Or maybe it's a bad thing because it means I'm pimply and awkward? damn it!
  
• The gift I ordered for my dad's 75th birthday finally got here which is awesome since the first one I ordered was discontinued, even though it was from the company's 2010 catalog. What the fuck?!
  
• Yes, my dad is going to be 75. 
  
• I signed up for Mint.com due to my sister's suggestion. It's fucking awesome. I love it. You should definitely check it out to manage your finances. I like the goals section. 
  
• It's football season, leave me the fuck alone and GO JETS!!
  

Again? Is that really necessary?

breakup card found here. 

So I have this friend who has recently reunited with his ex...for the fourth time. Now, this is not a tempestuous on and off again kind of thing with stormy fights and hot makeup sex. This is a slow, boring, would rather stab myself in the ears repeatedly with a dull object than have to listen to him talk about it anymore kind of thing. I mean really, 6 years, 4 breakups and 3 engagement rings later and this time it's "different." Does that mean you're not going to buy her another engagement ring this time? I mean, come on people, everyone knows you have a two breakup rule. You are allowed to break up and get back together once. If you breakup again, then it is the end. I'll listen to you be sad through two breakups. After that, shut your pie hole. Stop being an emotional cutter and move on. This is the saddest case of codependency I've ever seen. He can't function on his own and has no idea how the world works. The guy can't even balance a checkbook and when he made his budget for living on his own, part of his budget was "strip clubs." As for her, I've never met anyone with lower self esteem in my life. From now on I've decided to be super obnoxious every time he says anything about their relationship and do the "talk to the hand" thing people used to do in middle school. I hope he gets it quickly because I will annoy myself with that.  

The Monarques

http://intothewoods.tv/mfnw/episode-8>

This was posted on a friend's facebook the other day. It's of the Portland based band The Monarques playing some songs on the MAX, which is the public transportation. I wish there was a cool band playing songs when I was on the MAX, instead it was just a bunch of creepy people who had just gotten off work. The girl with the curly hair is from North Bend, Or. The music put me in a good mood. I couldn't get the code to embed the video to work so you're going to have to click on the link. 

Macy's Blows.

So my Macy's payment was due the other day. I work three stores down from Macy's but since I had just signed up on their website for paperless statements I decided to pay online rather than walk my happy ass down there. WORST IDEA EVER!! First of all, you can't use a debit card, you have to use a check. ugh. Apparently they're old school at Macy's. Then because it's a check, it takes 3 to 4 days to process but they at no time tell you this, or if they did, I didn't notice it. What the hell? I've done my part Macy's, hurry the fuck up. So this morning on a national fucking holiday I get a call at 9 am that they haven't received my payment. They woke me up, I'm super confused and have no idea what the hell is going on. As far as I'm concerned, I paid the fucking bill. The guy isn't getting anywhere with me and gets frustrated and hangs up. Whatever, fine with me. Then they proceed to call me every 45 min to an hour even though I've already explained to the first guy probably 30 times that as far as I'm concerned the bill is paid and he can suck a dick. So I answer and piss another one off so he hangs up on me too. Then I get another call, I'm at work, I ignore it and then call back. This lady is a bitch and I was a bitch right back. I used some colorful language, spoke to her as though she was a five year old, and asked for her supervisor. I swear they listen to you while they put you on hold because she tried to put me on one of those indefinite holds and I eventually said, "they can make me wait all god damned day long, I don't give a fuck, I have speaker phone, it won't hold up my day at all" and I immediately got a supervisor who OH MY GOSH GUESS WHAT could refund the late fee they charged me but only after being a total prick. Wow, really? I'm supposed to thank you for that after the last 3 people I talked to were complete fucktards? They have some of the worst customer service I have ever come across and I will not be shopping at Macy's again for quite some time, if ever. 

tl;dr - Macy's customer service reps are a bunch of douchebags. 

Oh I left out the part where I threatened to call them every hour on the hour until they agreed to remove the late fee. I think that's what did it.

Oh Anthro.

Do you see those yellow shoes? Oh Anthro, why must you always send me such pretty pictures in your catalog? You're killin' me smalls!!