Movember.

I think I just scarred my boyfriend for life. He's used to the female looking Jordan, instead he got...
Jordan con moustache. It's Movember, Men's Health Awareness month. I posted the above picture on my facebook to remind all the guys in my life to get a checkup, I want my friends and family to be around for a long long time. Of course to get this awesome profile pic I had to go through several moustaches before I came across the perfect one. Check out the other options below.

Grandpa / Orange County Choppers 'stache.

Guy Fawkes 'stache.

Hitler 'stache.

For more information on Movember, or to donate, visit www.movember.com

Dried Tomato Bread.

I mentioned that I wanted to make sun dried tomato bread but it turns out that I didn't have any sun dried tomatoes like I thought I did. So instead I dried some cherry tomatoes in my oven. I found the recipe in A Slice of Organic Life.

Preheat oven to 200F

Slice cherry tomatoes in half, put on lightly oiled baking pan, skin side down

Put a thin slice of garlic on the tomatoes

Add finely chopped Thyme

Add a pinch of sea salt and a very small amount of sugar

Let dry for 3 hours (I left mine in for roughly 5)

This leaves the tomatoes not completely dry. They were delicious. 

Sidenote: I don't like chopping garlic, it makes your hands all sticky and gross. Also, in the book they tell you to chop the thyme but in their picture it's not chopped at all, in fact, it's like a giant branch. That really annoys me when they say to do one thing but show a picture of something else altogether. 
I then put them in bread. Here is a loaf with tomatoes and pesto. I had begun to run out of tomatoes at this point after I had already made two other loafs. Next time I'll have to buy more cherry tomatoes, or grow them myself. 
This is cherry tomatoes with pepper jack cheese. I put rosemary and thyme in the dough. It turned out so amazingly good that I almost ate the entire loaf at once. 
Last night I made 6 loaves, all spoken for. I guess if I want to keep my bread I should stop posting pictures of it on facebook. 

Birthday Bread.

Today is my dad's actual birthday and since I learned how to make bread last night I decided to get a little ambitious and make some bread for his birthday. First of all, I got out of bed before noon, which is a feat in itself. Then, I went into town and picked up more yeast, raisins, minced garlic and a mini loaf of Tillamook Cheese. If you've never had Tillamook Cheese you're missing out because it's amazing and made right here in Oregon.
So I prepared the dough just like yesterday but when I got to the last step, after splitting it into three sections, I rolled out the sections and added my goodies. I made two garlic cheese rolls with minced garlic and grated cheese. Then I made one cinnamon raisin breakfast roll. After putting all the stuff on the rolled out dough I simply rolled my dough up, and tucked the ends in, then baked as normal. 
I took one of the garlic cheese rolls over to my mom's because my dad isn't home yet and I really wanted to try it and it was SO SO good. I'm making bread all the time from now on. I want to try a version with sun dried tomatoes in it next. 

Yay DeFazio!!

While the Republican and Democratic candidates are still duking it out for Oregon's Governor in a race so close that they are only about 10,000 votes apart at this time, I'm proud to say that those of us in Oregon's 4th District got our asses out of bed and mailed in our ballots to re-elect Congressman Peter DeFazio! So today, the Onion has an article, "Last Remaining Politician Must Rebuild Entire Government Following Bloodiest Midterm Election In American History," featuring DeFazio. The pictures kind of look like the zombie apocalypse just happened in DC. So awesome! 

I'm Gonna Butter Your Bread (kidding).

I decided to make bread so I'd have something to eat the butter I made with. Instructables is quickly becoming my favorite new website because they have all these tutorials on how to make things that are super easy and detailed enough that someone who doesn't know what they're doing doesn't have to feel like an idiot. I love all those fancy blogs about making food but half the time I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. 
So the recipe I followed was enough to make three loaves. That's good because I know when my dad wakes up in the morning and sees them in the kitchen he'll probably devour a whole loaf himself without even asking. If you want to try making bread I would really recommend this recipe for your first time, it's so so simple. 
Anyway, I just tried some and it's super yummy. Yay for making things at home and for warm bread. Next batch I'm going to maybe make a cinnamon & raisin loaf and a garlic & cheese loaf; you can basically add whatever you want.  

Cat Fight!

Taylor Swift recently released her latest album Speak Now. Apparently it's supposed to be songs about all of the things she wished she would've said at certain times but didn't. Mostly they're kind of mopey songs about ex-boyfriends. I was getting pretty bored until I got to the song Better Than Revenge. So, remember when Joe Jonas broke up with T Swift over a 27 sec. phone call back in 2008 so he could bone Camilla Belle? Taylor got all pissed off and went on a media rampage and then the Jonas went on myspace to proclaim that he never cheated on her and blah blah. I don't know why she was all upset, it's obvious that he is the gay Jonas Bro anyway. Taylor's new song is pretty obviously directed toward Camilla Belle with these lyrics:

"She's not a saint, and she's not what you think, she's an actress, whoa

She's better known for the things that she does on the mattress, whoa..."

Holy Shit AWESOME!! I love it. Finally, T Swift is getting catty and it's super danceable and catchy. I hope it gets released as a single and is all over the radio.

Happy Halloween People.

Halloween is my favorite holiday and usually I get super into it and spend weeks making a costume but this year I didn't even dress up, or carve a pumpkin, or even buy candy. I'm just living vicariously through everyone else. I guess I've been traveling so much lately I just didn't feel like I would have the time to put together a truly fabulous and original costume this year. In other news, I will be watching football all day today. Hell yes! Happy Halloween! Come trick or treat, I'll be at the sports bar. 

Fucked Up Thing About Utah #3.

 I don't know how good you guys are at geography but I'll give you a hint, Utah is blue, meaning their State minimum wage is the same as the Federal minimum. Now take a look at Oregon, we are green. Green indicates that our minimum wage is higher than the one set by the Feds. Our minimum wage is more than a dollar higher than Utah's. A DOLLAR. I'm a dollar menunaire baby, I want my small fries damn it! The other depressing thing is that, while Oregon's minimum wage is being raised to $8.50 an hour in January, Utah's will remain at $7.25. It's just disheartening because when I look for jobs it seems like they all pay less than what they do in Oregon and I think that the whole, "the cost of living is cheaper" thing is bullshit. I'm sorry but shit is the same price there AND I have to pay sales tax. Utah blows, over and out. 

Food Coma.

This is what happens to me after eating GIANT burritos from Atilano's. I am a sucker for a giant vegetarian burrito. I love those things, I eat until I fall into a food coma and then some asshole takes a picture of me passed out. Instead of doing that he should probably just return my N64 controllers. You hear me Simon? I need to play some Zelda, okay?!

Roger's Zoo.

So I've been wanting to write about Roger's Zoo for a really long time but I can never get any good pictures of the food with my phone because it's too dark in there. Roger's is a bar/pizzatorium. He has the best pizza in town, hands down. It's a little expensive and it takes a while to cook but it's worth it. I like the veggie pizza myself, it comes with asparagus as a topping and is delicious. Roger is a character too, he's eccentric, and he'll talk or debate with anyone on a variety of subjects, mostly the government. 
These are my super amazing cheesy garlic fries from earlier tonight. The Zoo is all about the garlic. They feature a pizza called Larry's Cure that is something like a quarter or half pound of minced garlic and some cheese on pizza crust. I had it once and I could only down one slice but still spent the next 3 days oozing the smell of garlic from my pores. Anyway, the place looks like a dive but the food is some of the best around and occasionally Roger will have a live band. 

Happy Birthday Dad!!

My Dad's birthday isn't until next week but we had his birthday party last night. His brothers came from out of town and we all went out to dinner. My little brother and I got this watch for my dad as his birthday present so I gave it to him last night. Gaudy, I know, but perfect for my 75 year old father. Yes, my dad turns 75 this year, and yes, he loves yellow gold and diamonds like any respectable old man would. 

Butter.

One day I was reading a blog, Lovely Morning, and she had posted about making buttermilk pancakes when they had fresh buttermilk after making butter. She gave the recipe for the pancakes but I was more intrigued with the idea of making butter. I realized from reading Little House on the Prairie as a child that people made butter but I never considered that they still do. Ever since then I had been wanting to try it. 

The first entry on google was about making it by shaking cream in a jar. You can put some marbles in the jar to help the process go more quickly but basically you shake it until it becomes butter. Fuck that. I tried it for about 10 minutes, decided I was going to get tennis elbow and gave up. I did manage to get it to a whipped cream consistency before giving up though. Next I found instructions on using an electric beater and finished it up that way which was a zillion times easier and faster. I would recommend skipping the shaking unless you have a little kid you need to get out of your hair and you can make them shake it.
In the end, I had two little jars like this half full of butter. I gave one to my friend Buzzy and kept one. Making your own butter is cool because you can decide if you want to add salt or not plus it's super fun. I'll definitely be doing this from now on. The final product came out really yummy and slightly sweet tasting. Next time I want to try to make some garlic butter.

The Italians.

Another cool thing about visiting the Aunties is they take us to visit their friends. I've known their friends pretty much my entire life since I spent every summer down there until I was 16. Three of their friends are referred to as "The Italians" as they're all from Italy. These ladies are awesome. They have all kinds of crazy stuff growing in their backyards and insist you take some of it home with you so we were loaded down with tomatoes, red bell peppers, pears, pomegranates, persimmons, and apples. It's their way of being hospitable, shoving vegetables and fruit at you. I'll take it! 

California.

So I spent all of last week driving around California with a piece of shit gps. It told me to take an exit that was closed, turn left onto a one way road going right, and at one point it even shut off and refused to turn back on. I guess that is what I get for using a hand me down gps from 1917. Anyway, the purpose of my trip was to go visit my sister in Livermore who just had a baby a month ago, and my Aunties who live a little farther south. On one day I even go to see everyone at once when Brooke, Raf & Lana decided to come visit the Aunties too. 

Everyone goes gaga over a newborn. She is pretty cute though when she's not freaking out. 
Here is my sister and her little family. Aren't they freaking adorable? It's the American dream at work, man. 
Here I am with Brooke and Lana. I need a haircut or to start using hairbands and making mini ponytails because this just looks unkempt. I hate this length of hair. I want my long hair back already. 
Lana has a good grip. She's really cute and it's true that all babies do is eat, sleep, and poop. Well, that and cry. She cries a lot but my sister and Raf have a little thing they do to get her to stop crying. They sing her a pretty inappropriate pop song and move her up and down. It's highly entertaining. 

Raising Hope.

My new favorite show I've been watching on Hulu is Raising Hope. It's so ridiculously funny. It's just really absurd but I find myself laughing a lot. It's about this 20 year old guy who has unprotected sex with this girl after rescuing her only to see the next morning on the news that she's a serial killer who kills all of her boyfriends. She ends up in jail, 9 months later she has his baby and then is electrocuted. So he ends up with the baby, but he has a lot of help since he lives with his mom, dad, and maw maw who suffers from dementia and is hilariously played by Cloris Leachman who I love! This whole family is nutso but it's awesome. 

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Buzzy! Thanks for being an awesome friend, and for watching my cat. I hope she doesn't kill your cats, or get mauled by Rosie. 

Volume 25.

Yesterday I posted a print from etsy shop Vol. 25 but then I went back and saw this epic beauty. I just might have to get this for my wall, or a friend. Hmm...maybe a great anniversary gift for someone. It's too awesome to not buy it though. It's entitled "Love is Magical." oh yes, yes it is. Oh wait, I'm pretty sure my sister had a unicorn obsession when she was little. Looks like I figured out who is getting this baby! 

Procrastinator.

So sometimes when I should be doing homework I instead procrastinate by visiting all of my favorite online places. I am taking a particularly awful grouping of classes this term so the frequency of my procrastination has sky rocketed. Oh well, at least I found some cool stuff. Do certain colors ever make you want to dance? Maybe it's not the color itself but the emotion attached to the color. Orange and yellow always put me in a sunny mood which is pretty weird. 

Anyway, this colander would be perfect for draining my mac n cheese noodles. Sold here. 

Next up is this awesome Anthro rug and drawer pull or maybe it was a door knob, now I can't recall. Either way, I love it. 

I've been doing a lot of browsing on etsy lately looking for a baby gift for my new niece. Etsy has a lot of great items but there are people out there making some ugly shit too. Anyway, I came across a shop called Vol. 25 and the have all kinds of cool prints.
Another etsy find, this time in edor's shop. It always takes me a long time to buy from etsy because I always convince myself I don't actually need the item, but this is so cute I just might have to buy it. Plus, it reminds me of Oregon. 

Aidan's Monsters

Five year old Aidan Reed is fighting Leukemia, and has his very own etsy shop where he sells his drawings to help offset the cost of his treatment. They sell out fast but keep checking back so you can become the proud owner of a Frankenstein or a Scary Clown drawing. If the shop is sold out when you check, you can click on the tab that says how many sales he's had, right now it's at 480, to see his artwork. 

Casting My Ballot, But Not For This Fucktard.

So this asshat is running for Congress and just so happens to be running in District 4, my district. Last night I went to a forum between Art Robinson (R), Peter DeFazio (D), and the weird but endearing Green Party candidate Mike Beilstein. Mr. Robinson is a very loony, very angry little man. He wants to get rid of public education, he thinks children should be home schooled, which is convenient since he sells a line of home schooling materials. He also believes that the government should not help students pay for college but they should work their way through college like he did 40 years ago. The cost of attending college is ten times what it was when he attended. He also doesn't believe in global warming and thinks that nuclear energy is the only viable option for the future. Anyway, he's certifiable, just watch the video and see how far you can get before you want to start banging your head into a wall. 

Cooking Maven.

Okay so perhaps I'm not even close to an expert but I have been cooking a lot lately and I've actually been enjoying it. So strange. 

I had a request for more fried won tons so I started making them but then all of the sudden I had a killer craving for won ton soup. Crapola! There was no vegetable broth in sight and I don't eat meat. 
I said, "fuck it, I want won ton soup," so I started folding for both fried won tons and for the soup. I also did a quick google search for vegetable broth. Turns out it's ridiculously easy to make. 
All you have to do is throw random vegetables into a pot with water, let it boil, and then bring it back down and let it cook. So I did but then I tried it and it tasted like celery water. Oops. I took out all of the celery and added a tomato and red bell pepper. That evened out the taste and it was perfect. 
Yeah, I lost all my bobby pins so I look like Cousin It. I'm okay with that, really. 

So really vegetable broth is super simple. It turned out really well and all I put in there was:

• too much celery
  
• garlic
  
• onion
  
• parsley
  
• red bell pepper
  
• tomato
  
• salt
• carrot

Just throw in whatever vegetables you have lying around, you don't even have to peel them, just chop 'em up and throw 'em in. It may not seem that exciting to you but this is a huge feat for the girl who goes to 7-11 every day to buy taquitos for dinner. 

After the fact my friend Sam FINALLY logged on to facebook. Sam happens to be a professional chef. He says:

one part parsley, 2 parts celery, 2 parts carrot, 4 parts onion

chop all that shit up

sautee in oil til onions are clear

add water and reduce 

Fucking Hilarious.

I thought you guys might want to know how the world ends, so I found this little gem for you. Now you don't have to wonder anymore. 

Another Week!

I've decided to extend my Utah trip by another week. I've been sick since about the third day I was here and I'm still coughing and not feeling up to par. We didn't get as much stuff done as we would've liked with the painting because we were both coughing up lungs so this gives us more time to fill up the room we just finished painting last night. Plus, I can't go visit the baby niece or my Aunties when I'm sick, something about babies and the elderly being more susceptible to disease. Wimps. 

More Painting.

This just looks like a crazy person paint disaster but I promise it's not. When Jake and I were choosing paint colors at Lowe's we saw these pamphlets that had cool designs on the wall. We wanted a redish wall but didn't want too much red in the room, especially with the bright yellow, so we decided to try diamonds. 
Jake did all the taping because there is no way I have that much patience. It turned out wonderfully and we both love it. It's different but still really crisp looking and it's a whole wall we don't have to arrange pictures on. Heck yes!
Speaking of yellow walls. This is our closet. It's my favorite color and the inside, although in this picture looks white, is actually a super soft yellow that compliments the bright yellow really well. It looks very pretty in person. 

Hello From Utah.

So I'm over here in Mormon Land getting things ready for my move next month. It's kind of a pita to open a new bank account, get a new post office box, and navigate through a land filled with young couples with 700 children. Anyway, I've been here for a couple days and will be here for about 10 more. That should give me plenty of time to get all my crap in order. Here is what I did today:

I took a picture of my crackhead kitten Riff. He loves boxes of any kind. He's melting the damn candy bars, so inconsiderate. 
This is all that is left of the 100 or so fried won tons I made today. I'm not usually a very domestic person but I've been craving these, I even had a half dream about them. I don't ever remember my dreams but sometimes when I'm half asleep and half awake I think of random things and I kept thinking of fried won tons. It's best to heed your half dream's advice. 
We also started painting. Yes, that is a bright yellow wall. I'm not entirely certain I could live without a yellow wall. I mean, once you have one you can't really go back to not having one. Good thing my boyfriend loves me, as evidenced by his attempt at hieroglyphics in paint.