Support.

Having a support system is an important part of life. It can consist of friends, family, co-workers, or even online blogging or gaming friends you've never met. What matters is that they care about you and support you. Jake and I are lucky enough to have a large and caring support system, for which we're very thankful.

Recently I've expanded my support system by attending a women's group for the significant others of those suffering from PTSD. It's a small group and usually just a handful of people show up, but I like that it's small, you really get to know the other ladies and their stories. Just being around other people who truly understand what having a spouse with PTSD is like is really comforting. They can relate in a way others can't and can give advice or share from their own experiences.

Everyone is a different age and our spouses fought in different wars, the PTSD manifests in different ways in our loved ones, and yet our lives are so similar. We all keep constant vigilance, searching for the tiniest signs of a problem, we all know our loved one's triggers, we all have the same worries. It's nice to have the instant bond that comes with having similar experiences.

For me, the most beneficial thing is speaking to the women whose husbands have been dealing with PTSD since Vietnam, almost 40 years ago. It's nice to learn from their experience, and to see that although your spouse may never live a life without PTSD, they can still have a full and rewarding life. Being able to ask questions about their experiences is invaluable. I'm not sure if I ever want to have children, but Jake's PTSD is a real concern of mine, and his, when it comes to having a family. The fact that I can ask these ladies how their husbands dealt with their PTSD in regard to raising children and the effect that has had on the family is incredibly beneficial, even if it's only anecdotal evidence.

I'm thankful we've moved into a VA system that actually gives a damn. In our previous cities, nobody remembered who you were or cared what was going on in your life. Here they refer us to doctors outside of the VA if the wait is too long or if they don't have what we need locally. They call to ask how I'm doing, not just Jake, and they recognize our faces and remember our story when we walk in. It's such a different environment, and such a relief.